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I watched my mom become weaker and weaker last October. My moms caregiver left in early November and I was providing more care. The more time I cared for her the stronger she became. I know have good evening help, but I do days. Honestly I think the improvement was because she was drinking more fluids under my watch. I think now her caregiver was sleeping and on her iphone more then she was pushing hydration. It could be your parent is getting weaker or it could be dehydration.
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My Dad was the most wonderful Dad, he is still with us but I am slowly coming to terms his mind is slipping and so is he.
I LUV him so much he gave me a wonderful life from birth to now ....we have grown very close over his senior years he is now a couple of weeks away from turning 95!
These past two months or so he has become someone I don’t know and who really doesn’t like me ,suddenly doesn’t trust me .... I know that I should not take this personally however I am a person .....it hurts me for both him and me!
Living into ones’ golden years is a blessing and can be a curse. My Mom (who was the very best Mom ever) passed just weeks after she turned 65 . Cancer took her but it did not take her mind we were able to understand one another to the end. This is new experience with my wonderful Papa
will take him from me while he still is living. I thank everyone here on this site and forum etc., reading asking questions here has really been a life saver in so many ways.
🙏
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Thank you, GardenArtist, for sharing your experience. I’m sorry for your loss.
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My mom just turned 96. After a urinary tract infection this past summer she started really declining with her dementia. So she moved in with me. She was walking ok. And able to dress herself and to the bathroom. Fast forward to November. She fell. Broke her hip. Had surgery. Rehab. Now back at my house. Getting worse. I don’t think I can care for her much longer. I don’t know what to do. My only brother lives in another state. He has been so helpful even that far away. But will need to decide something soon.
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I went through this too, and repeatedly asked myself what I could do before my father passed.   Eventually I remembered something a good friend told me, that the care he provided his father, and activating the DNR order, was the best thing he could do for his father at that time.

So I tried to remember that, and asked myself when I went to visit him what I could do to make the last days easier.    Sometimes it was not talking, just sitting and resting my hand on his shoulder or arm so he knew he wasn't alone.  

And I kept him up to date on important issues, so he wouldn't feel left out.

I won't say that it worked all the time, but it did help.
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It’s agonizing to see a parent slip away. I’m going through the same thing, and I’m struggling too. The age of the parent does not matter. I’m grateful and fortunate that my dad has been on this earth 86 years, but that doesn’t make it any easier watching him lose his agility, memory, etc. It’s painful and heart wrenching.
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My mom is your mom’s age. I was her primary caregiver until recently. Now she is with my brother.

I burned out too. It absolutely effects your marriage. I feel your pain.

I know it hurts to see a parent decline. I sense that you feel totally responsible for your mom. Let me assure you that it’s okay if you either emotionally or physically can’t keep on being her caregiver.

Have you thought of a facility? What about palliative care or hospice? Seek help if you need it. Your marriage is important too. Your mental health is extremely important.

I wish you all the best. Let us know how you are doing. Vent here anytime. Hugs.
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I'm sorry you're going through this, but she's lived a long time. Sadly, some children aren't that fortunate, esp if their mom(or dad) were great parents.
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My mom was same age and just passed away. Anytime you want to email me, please do. It IS hard to watch.
You remember how they were years ago and I guess you also wonder if this is how you will be in the future,also.
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We are all born to die, each day we come one day closer. Your mother is very old, she has lived a very, very long life. IMO we must accept death as a the final solution. We cannot live forever.

Perhaps you can find a support group or possibly a nearby church that can help you accept this process.

I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time at this time.
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