My mom is capable of paying billings and taking care of herself. The only symptom my sister and I have noticed is memories that are not true

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She gets very upset when we tell her it isn't true, then she will change the story in some way, thinking that will make us remember. Is this enough to have her tested?

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My mom has been used to a pretty high standard of living, proud of the things she has, proud of her appearance and the fact that she had a boyfriend into her 80's. Now that she is in the nursing home she is accusing me and my sister of being mean and cruel to her, making her pain worse because of the inconvenience of being in the nursing home and is suing us for the things we have stored in my sister's garage and wants control of her finances again. Really angry about losing her privacy in the nursing home. Dislikes her roomate and claims she is low-class. After five years of taking care of her, she is now begging me to do it all over again, I said no and I have to stay firm, I can't support her high standard of living and she won't have that much money left over after paying for assisted living. She had always resisted assisted living because it took most of the money she gets every month, then roped me into doing everything.

Anyway it is all a big cover-up now, she claims she does not need care now and refuses to admit that she fell often in the apartment and is unsteady on her feet and is in a lot of pain. Trying to blame me and my sister for all her pain and inconvenience of being in the nursing home. Whenver I come to visit now, all I get are complaints and criticism about my appperance and my sister's appearance because we are moderately overweight and don't get ourselves all dolled up like she does. Then gets upset because we don't have boyfriends or not dating and then gets on my sister because of her divorce and criticizes her grandchildren. She has always been this way, trying to control us and now I have had it.

My sister wants us to have a third party guardian on her, but mom insists this is a family argument over control of her life and her finances. Guess I will just have to step out of this and let the court take over on Friday and hopefully they will see what is really happening with mom. Eventually mom will have to understand she can't take all her stuff and her money with her when she dies.
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My mother, before I gave her a healthy dose of personal responsibility while she lived with me for five years, had the uncanny ability to manipulate and mug her own children to pay her bills. The signs were all over the place, but my love for her made it so easy to reach for crutches that I actually came to believe it was my duty to enable what I now describe as parasitic behavior.

Before she moved in, when I was stationed at Camp Pendleton, CA, I'd send between $200-$300 a month on top of $100 for her birthday on April 11th and another $200 for Mother's Day. She claimed to have been laid off from work and was unable to pay rent and medical bills. I thought that with my help she'd get better, but the fact was she was getting over. Relatives in Puerto Rico (particularly long-lost brothers whom I'd never heard of) were always dying and she needed plane tickets. Guess whom she got them from. And every now and then she "couldn't remember" where she put the money I sent after she cashed the money orders, or claimed to have been robbed at knife-point. It turns out she had been on public assistance all along. I'm still somewhat resentful for allowing myself to be "played," but my anger stems from not being able to forgive myself for being such an idiot.

Old habits, however, die hard. Once in a blue moon, while visiting with my oldest sister, Mom begins her usual storytelling with whoppers like sending me money for my wedding in San Diego. The fact was that I sent her a roundtrip 1st Class ticket which she redeemed at Liberty Travel. The time when I supposedly gave her permission to pierce my sons' ears at the age of 10; and the "exact date" when Daniel Santos -- a Puerto Rican singer pickled in alcohol whose performances and drunken lyrics almost made women shed their clothes -- got on one knee and proposed to her. Weaving lie after lie comes naturally to her, and she can look into your eyes and do it so sincerely it still amazes me. No doubt: she's the undisputed Ernest Hermingway of BS. Her fabrications have been repeated so often they've become true over the years.

My sisters go along with the stories while I pretend to receive business calls on my cellphone just to get away from it all. Later, in private, I'd share my disappointment after the guests are gone. Ivette reiterates "She's your mother!;" Wanda, one of the youngest, says "I believe her;" Yvonne, the "cheche" (baby) of the family, says "I don't care, that's my mother and I love her." I love her too, I just hate the lies designed to help my mother live with her conscience.

At the end of the night, Mom insists I walk her to the taxi waiting outside. She begins talking about money, and my response is always "That's no longer an option, you know that." I open the door, give her a hug and a kiss, and tell her something my Dad always often said to her: "When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Then I saunter to the bus station, whispering "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
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well good luck my friend i know getting some articles or have her read upon it may help i know its hard i didn't want to accpet my dad having it but it scared me so much that i ask him to take a test of course he refuse a couple of times so i back off and didn't say no more about it until he starting sending to much money to the ulities and he ask me to help him with it...then i brought it up again this time he agree and i did it in time..they ask them simple questions like whats ur name ur address whay state you live in things like that.. now..sometimes it may look like you have the problem and they answer all the question correctly (hahah) then you feel like s--t but it good to try just tell her you are concerned and you love her very much and want her to remember all the good times on down through the yrs and it will be ok
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thanks again...hope I am not in denial. We did make an appointment with her doctor for a memory test. We just have to get her to agree to go o the doctors and take it, she is of very strong character.
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have her check before it to late
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ok not seeing but saying still the matter is she is in early stage of dementia
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thanks for your input, but she is not seeing things, just saying things that haven't happened
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yes it is she has early stage dementia is what it is she seeing things they may not be true to you guys but they are iin her mine..so yes its time for her to be tested before it gets to far i had early detects with my dad it was the bills he was sending to much money to the utilties
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