I just feel very alone. All my family lives out of state. And since I am the sole caregiver, that means I have no time for friends so I have just a couple of friends. She's in the hospital right now and I feel really alone. One minute she's okay, the next she isn't.
I feel like I just want to stay on the phone with her nurse, but that's impossible, lol. Since I can't go see my mom, it would be nice to just know she's okay. I have talked to her as much as possible, letting her know I love her... but man... this really just sucks.
Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend to just hold me. But no boyfriends or husband, because I have been my mom's 24/7 caregiver. Just very tired, scared and alone.
Posting here to vent. Thanks for listening <3
I am thinking that you could end needing more help that anyone on forum can give. We are great at sympathy, and maybe telling someone what equipment worked best, what kind of Lawyer to see. But I read into your "vent" something that concerns me.
With a diagnosis of cirrhosis, unless there are liver transplants and et in the future, you are looking at someone on limited time. Is the Cirrhosis from a condition, Hep C, or alcohol, or something other? How old is Mom?
Just very concerned for you. Especially now in covid times, when someone might otherwise say "OK, let me get out the that museum I always wanted to see so I can tell Mom about it when I visit her" we are all so stuck.
Thoughts with you. Think of "seeing someone " who is trained to help. That can often be done virtually in these days. Reach out to anyone who can advise, from Mom's Doc on.
In these times I rely a lot of Social Media. I know the complaints about it, but with gardening and books and walks and cooking it takes up the time well enough until I drop into bed. Hard times now for us all, but so much harder when in your position. Hugs.
Try to catch up on sleep while mom is in the hospital. Watch a movie. Learn to meditate. Soak in a tub; whatever relaxes you.
((((((Hugs))))))))
Please know you are not alone. I’m sending you hugs and prayers right now. You are truly a remarkable, caring, unselfish and giving person. I know your main concern is with your Mom right now, but in the near future you should avail yourself of regular respite care. Both you and your Mom will benefit from this. Don’t think this is selfish. It is necessary to give yourself the break to nourish yourself and be a better caregiver and enjoy more of the time with Mom. Because of your unconditional love for your her, you already have the ability to draw positive relationships towards you. Plan what you’ll do during your respite time and involve yourself with others. A Sunday school group or a group that shares your interests is a good place to start. Good luck and God Bless