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On January 12th at 5:30 p.m. my mama drew her last breath. She died peacefully with me holding her hand. It has been a long 14 years some so grueling I just didn't like her, but in the end we were at peace with each other. Today I feel like I have just forgotten to do something. I am so used to calling, checking, visiting until I just feel scattered. The first day was a relief...the second day I cleaned out her room at the NH so I was busy. She is not having any services because she has been here with me in North Carolina for the pass 14 years and she has no family to speak of even in her hometown and no one her but me and the staff at the NH. She is being cremated and her ashes are being shipped to Alabama to be placed next to my daddy. I am not really sad or upset just lost....it is the strangest feeling. I know it will pass soon just so strange. Thank you so much for all your support in the pass few years.

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2tsnana, I am sorry that your mother has left us, but I know both you and she are at peace with it. Fourteen years is a long time. Relations may not have always been as good as possible, but you did the best you could. Take care of yourself.
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ohdear,
very well stated , imo .
makes me smile about an alice cooper song " identity crisis'es " . ( plural )
wishing you peace and healing 2tsnana ..
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I was touched to read your story. I can't imagine what you are going through. I do wish you peace. I agree with ohdeer. This is quite an adjustment. Take care of yourself.
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I came back to work today and it has helped....Ohdear you are so right ..thank you :-)
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Losing a loved one is never easy. Now you are adjusting to a non caretaker role. Please take the time to be extra attentive to yourself. You may be experiencing grief, and loss not only of your mother but a change in your role and identity. In a sense you wil have to reinvent yourself and your life . Peace be your journey. Though it may be a thousand miles, it starts with a single step.
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