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Hi everyone. Its been awhile since I posted. I was hoping to post something positive after my husband went into a long term facility, but things just went downhill after.
The first residential home he went into was horrible. I wont go into detail but he was only there for 3 weeks out of 3 months. They kept calling the ambulance, and me, everytime he became agitated, or confused. That woman who ran the place got a sweet deal there. I still had to pay even though he was never there. So then he went to the hospital where they finally put him on something to calm him down. The drug worked, BUT being in the hospital for that long stretch of time, made him feel comfortable. He was waited on hand and foot, who wouldnt want to relax in a nice hospital and let them do EVERYTHING for you? He finally went into an assisted living facility that takes care of dementia and alzheimer patients.
The social worker had some one help me find this place. I told him what we could afford, no more no less. That is where i found this place. I sat in the office with a vibrant nice young lady who assured me of the price. We got in on a special. 6 months. Then in december, he could be paired with another person and the price would be the same. That was in the end of july. I paid up the first and the hefty community fee upon move in. August the same, and september. My husband had a hard time the first week he moved in, but after a bit he was ok. I think he had to realize he is not the only one in the world. This place is not huge, but there are at least 60 residents there. September was when things happened. My very beloved Kitty of 18 years, passed away from cancer. I took special care of her the last week of her little life, But the day before she died I was sitting in the rocking chair with her in my arms, and she suddenly looked up at me and tried to meow. I will never forget how her eyes looked so sad. right after that her head went back and her mouth opened, the she did it again and her body went limp. I called the hospice care and of course i was panicking but they told me it was a seizure. Her body was shutting down. That night she was trying to lift her head up on the bed a trooper of course! I gave her a little water from her syringe, laid down and held her close. Last thing i said was, lets get some sleep sweetheart. Mommy loves you, see you in the morning. I woke up and her little paws were stiff. She was at peace. And she looked so precious. it was an end of an era to me. I called the home and told them what happened, and could not get out to see my husband for awhile. 2 weeks later i went to visit and of course he could not remember her too much. it was so so frustrating, because he LOVED her so much. His princess.
Today i still cry, trying to live life without her in it, is very difficult. I am alone, i do not care about going out, and life is just not fun anymore. And then oct 3, I get a bill for 10.000 dollars from that place where my husband is. Hidden fees. i called the administrator and met with her 3 days later. Of course the home office made a mistake but she still insisted i pay 3000 dollars by the 1st in fees. Never let this happen everybody!! i was stressed and burned out and way too trusting. i listened to this woman and she took me for a ride. And home health that the insurance pays for to take care of his foley cathedar, went behind my back and did a couple of things I was furious about! I called the omnbudsmen about a week ago and they told me to ask for an admission paper that I never saw. Again, the administrator told me she would leave it in my husbands mail box. I hung up but then thought, what mailbox? I went there coughing and very sick,( I didnt get my flu shot so of course I had caught the flu A week before) and asked the front desk for the paper I was told would be there. She told there was nothing. then I said look in my husbands mailbox, that is where she said it would be. she started to pull at something under the desk and said sdhe didnt have a key. I told her that was very strange, just like my husband having a mail box was. She insisted she didnt have a key, so i told her to tell the administrator to E-Mail the paper to me. I went to use the bathroom before i left, but when I got out there were three women huddled over the left hand side of the front desk. I was walking by to leave when one of the girls said, here is the mail. She handed me over 30 pieces of mail addressed to my husband from 7/30. All bills from the hospital, the clinic, Updates from home health, and a pharmacy i have never heard about, insurance covers some of the bills but hello? They are all past due and come to ALOT of money when you add it up. I cried all night long, and talked to the omnbudsman again. I gave her control to look into all of this, because I cant deal with the lies again. Home health will be there on tuesday with a social worker, and I will be there too.
Thank you everybody for reading. Be careful..

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My deepest sympathy in the loss of your beloved princess. I suspect that loss is more than the loss of your human loved one will be. It's a time to grieve. Can you do something special to commemorate her? She died in the best possible way, next to her human, loved and warm. We should all pray for such a comfortable death. The person in the dementia unit is not who you remember. They don't get better, only worse. So many losses in your life, you have a right to feel down. I strongly recommend getting a PhD psychologist counselor to help you through your current and future losses. Check with friends and websites to see who is recommended in your area. Make and appointment and get going to help yourself hold yourself together. With much respect,
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You're life isn't over. You're just drowning in expenses and grief.

You'll get through the $$ part - let the ombudsman help you mightily. The ones I've known have been good, caring folks.

I'm sorry that your husband didn't remember your princess. It's hard when you want to share your grief & the one person that you knew would identify with you cannot be there for whatever reason. I remember losing my cat, Jade. She had been with me so long, it was like losing a piece of my history.

It's early yet - take comfort in that you helped Kitty pass in the best way possible - with love and comfort. I believe that animals have souls, so I think now you have a little furry angel behind you. When you are ready (and ONLY when you are ready) - please think of adopting another fur baby from a shelter. We adopted a cockapoo from the shelter in September as a companion for my father. Never had a sweeter, more gentle, loving dog. We needed her as much as she needed us. I highly recommend it to you because you need somebody beside you, too.

God bless, kixx.
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Kixx what a terrible situation. My heart goes out to you. Having the ombudsman looking into it will take some weight off your shoulders.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty. I have 2 dogs and four cats, all rescues in some way, who found me over the years, often at an awful time in my life. I like to think they were sent to rescue me and not the other way around. The best tribute you can pay her is to adopt another from a shelter and save a life. "If you've ever loved an animal, you'll have paw prints on your soul forever" ... Author Unknown. Dog Bless you ♥
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Kixx, I'm so sorry for all of your recent troubles, and the loss of your dear cat! Too, too much at one time!

Im glad you've got the ombudsman working with you. I suspect there might not be malfeasance so much as an assumption about what you did and didnt know. I hope this all works out.
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