I don't know what to do, my mother is completely different person than me. We argue over everything and anything. She's prone to negativity & conflicts. I'm 33 years old. We're living together, father left us when I was 6 & have young sister who is married, living with her husband. My mother was always controlling me. She has this strong, leader, dictator-like character. She does everything opposite I want and fights can start from very small things.
I met a wonderful woman. She came to me from other country, living with us and we want to get married this month, but I'm super stressed, because my mom gives me a hard time, complicates everything. She's also very manipulative. For example, few days ago we were coming from vacation, 6 hours train, all exhausted, hungry. And I told her when we were in train, I'm hungry, so when we come back home, can we buy sausages? She says, no, you had stomach problems this morning, we gonna cook when we come back. I say, please, I'm very hungry, cooking will take longer time and we are all tired. She says NO. When we arrived, I was so hungry that I started feeling nauseous & told her, I'm so hungry I don't even want to eat now, cause I'm feeling nauseous and you know what she says? - "Oh, good, so you won't be eating. By the way, I'm hungry all the time because of diet, so what, you will be ok". Seriously? And this is the appropriate answer from her? When we entered home, I felt upset and raised tone, said I was hungry and where is damn food now, said, I think I'm gonna faint now. She bought those sausages, but started then yelling at me, giving me hard time and we started arguing. During that she said, your girl will leave you alone when she gets bored of you, you're horrible person. I asked her to let's sell the house, divide money for us and live separately, because I can't live with her anymore. I don't want this negativity. But she started yelling more, said I will die, worms will eat me and I can't do anything without her (trying to let me think that I can't live without her). I work, but my salary is low and I'm depended on her unfortunately.
Next morning, she tells my girl, why she didn't support her yesterday and why she didn't stop me. Well, truth is that she told me to stop arguing, but I was already mad and didn't listen. And my girl told her that she told me to stop, but I didn't listen and she also said that I was right and it would be easier to buy sausages than start cooking when everyone was tired. She got upset on her. I went to my work and my girl called me, told me my mom gave a call to her and again asked her why she didn't take her side and stop me and mentioned suicide. She said this call was very depressing. After that I called my mom and told her calmly why she's doing that. My girl didn't do anything and she tried to stop me and asked her to not give her hard time. She said she didn't tell that, it was a lie. I again told her that I can't live in those negativity and conflicts anymore, I'm tired, emotionally exhausted & suggested her again to let's sell the house and buy separate houses. She told me I'm no one without her, and she will take out my guts, destroy me. She was yelling a lot. I feel so stressed I started crying at my work silently, tears were coming, but I'm a guy and tried to hide it. After that she came home, started yelling at my girl, asked her why she lied, that she didn't told her this. My poor girl said, maybe it was misunderstanding and tried to calm her down. But I know them both very well and I know who's lying and who's not. She's very manipulative. Tried to manipulate her & was mad why my girl told me and talked to me about her. She was mad because my girl had same opinion as me and said I wasn't wrong. Now we both are afraid to even say that my girl didn't lie and it's her who's liar, because she will make things worse and we are scared. We both feel like we are prisoners, can't even say truth.