He lasted two months, but during that time I didn't talk to him about dying. I look back and SO much wish that I had talked about ...more. He didn't talk much because he was so weak, but I could have said more. I'm so sorry and am having a hard time forgiving myself for not doing more. Maybe I was in denial thinking that he would beat this thing again. He knew it was the end. The nurses knew it was the end. I don't know what I was thinking. Tiptoeing around the subject like it wasn't happening. He lasted longer than they predicted, of course. He was such a strong guy. I should have loved him more. I'm so sorry. I know this wasn't a question. Sorry about that too. I had to tell someone.