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Hi everyone it’s been a while since I posted. FIL has been approved for Medicaid long term family care but when we met since his POA is not activated he had the choice of living on his own with a 1000 budget and he has to take care of everything himself, family can help. But this is going to make work for us. The supervisor was able to convince him to go with managed care . There are two options he lives alone and services are set up or moving to assisted living . I have found a really nice place that takes his Medicaid managed care and there is a bed available. He will be evaluated again with the case manager and nursing they will give him what they think. He didn’t even remember they were here and once again lunch he didn’t want it second time this week. It’s getting worse, I have notes everywhere. He said he takes his medication. He does when I put it out and bring directly to him. He is starting to get so negative. Then my mom. She fell a couple weeks ago twice she was black and blue. But I looked at her leg and her foot where the amputation was. I was very concerned so I called the foot doctor can’t get her in until october 19. Well by having her doctor see it she has an appointment Tuesday. She has to wrap the foot up past her ankle because her leg is so swollen skin is breaking. I had to come back for my appointment tomorrow. I guess our kinda craziness we were adjusting but everything is going to happen all at once and what if I can’t do it. How do we activate my FIL POA from the little I have told you guys what do you think. Plus there is so so much more. Thank you miss you all. Also my moms is so depressed. She said my daddy is lucky he has no worries. I am afraid she is giving up. She is seeing a therapist. I am getting overwhelmed but trying to take it as it comes

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Staff, don’t listen to other people telling you what to or not to do. Listen to Lee and FIL’s doctors. Coffee shop friends aren’t reliable sources of what you should do. That’s why you’re confused.

As usual, sending hugs and prayers. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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desl with guilt about putting my fil in assisted living. he had his assessment with his caseworker from his medicaid mc. she is sending a referral to two different assisted living places. i guess they come and assess him and if they think they can provide the care he needs. then we tour the place. well i sometimes feel guilty for putting him there that we should take care of him. i especially feel really guilty is when my mom says ‘i could never do that ‘ we have been the only ones who have been there for him and my mil since his accident in 2006. then i start thinking he isn’t that bad. as you all know i posted about how he has been lately and the professionals all agree that he should be at assisted living, plus with medicaid and his long term care don’t refer to assisted living unless it’s really necessary, my other issue is the people at the coffee shop that i drop him off at everyday are so worried about him being there. so that means i would still be doing the same thing i am doing now.! i want him to be happy but i still would have to rush to him at assisted living. i have a lot of things going on. so i would feel guilty if i didn’t take him. then one friend said that i shouldn’t be doing that every day and then another said it’s like taking someone to a meeting. i am so sorry for being confused. plus since the poa hasn’t been activated yet, he has the right to change his mind. i am working on getting it activated. then when he has a good day i go back to thinking he isn’t that bad, Have any of you had to deal with these feelings. plus my husband has some resentment towards him because he was never a father to him.! thank you. once again sorry my post is so long.
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SB, so glad to hear that your brother has kept his word and talked to someone who is willing to pay a "Good Cash Rent Price".  Also glad that you are stepping back and letting your Mom make the decisions about getting a renter.  When PRIME FARMLAND becomes available for other farmers to rent, they will offer GREAT prices in order to farm the land.

We do "percentages" for both of our farms":  33% renter A, 33% renter B, and 34% Mom because Mom wanted to sell the corn and soybeans herself.
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update on my moms farm. she was actually right. my husband researched the last 10 years of the appropriate price for cash renter. my mom said she knows. we were getting nervous about getting a renter but decided to step back it’s her farm. well she was right it was too early for bids. in one day she got two more bids. one is 260 an acre and this is from the guy who my brother hired to harvest the land. in a round about way, my brother kept his word. he gave the guy the information about her lawyer. he told her back in march he would get her the highest bidder. i told her not to get her hopes high with this gesture from him. the other bidder is sending her his bid. it’s a lot better than what he paid. hope you are all doing well.
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good news, my moms foot is healing really well. in fact he doesn’t want to see her for two weeks. other news regarding my mom. we had one offer to rent the farmland it was 225-250 with a soul test. he would clear the trees and the waterways. well, my husband did all this research and i don’t know how anyone can survive by farming alone. anyway. we decided to let her do it. either she waits too long or she is right. well she has been doing this for 60 some years and she knows how the farmers work. i was driving home yesterday and she called me and said she got a bid that was sent to her lawyer. i actually went to k-12 with him. the offer is 260 an acre. that’s a 100 dollars more per acre than my brother was paying. it’s really interesting because way back when my brother said he was done farming but he will get her the highest bidder. the renter was the farmer who harvested my brother crops. he never would have known who my mom attorney was. my brother gave him the lawyer name. so from a distance he still cares. i look back at these last couple months and i realized he was heading to a nervous breakdown. i am not getting my hopes up i just want him to be happy and healthy and at peace. then tuesday the case manager and nurse from my fil did another assessment. my husband actually took care of that while i was in illinois. we are on the same page. now they reach out to the places and see if there is a bed available for the level of care he needs. i apologize this is not a question, i just wanted to update you all on what is going on. have a great day
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thank you sweetie i do have a doggy and she is a life saver but she is 12 and i worry about her. she had pancreatitis in march when everything was happening with my mom. i think she was really stressed too. now she took after a squirrel and she ran too hard and she hurt her leg. but she is managing. she actually loves having my fil here
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Aw. Love you, Staff. The attorney will have to look at the POA and see if it can be reactivated since he was still competent when he made it the first time. He will know what you have to do, but the original POA has to count for SOMETHING. it won’t be different from the first one. But it’s all that legal bulls**t.

If Mom is competent to make her own decisions, she can still give you legal Power of Attorney. That does not mean you will be in control of her life and decisions. She can still say yes or no. You will just be there to help if she needs it. You can talk with her and make decisions with her about what is the best for her to do, like maybe go someplace where they can make sure she is safe and won’t fall and hurt her legs or feet and make sure she takes her medicine. And she won’t have to worry about stressing out you or Lee. And this will be easier on you. I know that’s what your mom wants. As for FIL, just let all those people handle all that endless paperwork. I’ve made 5 sets of copies of THE SAME FORMS for the IRS. Thank God I got a copier at Target for $39.00. 😡😡😡 it’s such a pain. OMG.

I’m sending you much love and many prayers that this will soon work out. Do you have a dog? Kiss and hug your dog. That’s what I do. It sure helps.
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Could you read the terms of the POA carefully in order to see what type of POA it is (is it durable or springing?) and what it says about activation? Like two doctors say he cannot make decisions safely?
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thank you sweetie it really means a lot to us. if we had an attorney do a new poa what would be different from the one that we have. he can’t make decisions but he thinks he can ywt his actions prove otherwise. so lawyer draws a new poa what is the difference in the one that we have does that have to be activated. my mom has just given me control but she still can decide where she wants to live. thank you sweetie
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Hi, Staff. Been thinking about you. About all you can do is take one thing at a time. I think you may have to have an attorney draw up a new POA. No big deal. I’m glad FIL will be going to AL.

I feel so bad for your mom. I wish there was some way you could get her into AL as well. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. She is a strong lady. Remind her of that, and that we are all thinking of her and wishing her peace.

Hang in there!
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