My former husband needs help


My former husband's daughter needs help taking care of her father who will not leave his home but needs daily assistance. He has Parkinson's and has not been able or willing to take meds and has begun falling and unable to get up.

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My uncle was a jerk to his wife, my aunt , while they were married. He cheated on her and was basically a terd. She went on to get married to a wonderful man who died 15 years later or so. My uncle on the other hand found a girl friend or three and drove them away too. When he came down with Alzheimer's, it was my aunt that reached out to him after her husband died. She was the one that helped take care of this man that had made her life miserable at one time. She's a Christian, and so I know that she did it NOT for him, but for the Lord. That's the only way she could have helped my uncle. He's dead now, died this year I believe, but I know my aunt will be getting an extra crown in the Heaven someday.

I cared for my dad with PD full time. He got so he would go through spells where every time he got up he would fall. Then he would go through a good spell. He took his meeds easily. As much as I love him and wanted to keep caring for him and was getting paid by him-it got to a point that I just couldn't do it any longer. I had to place him in a nursing home. He needed more assistance than assisted living gives. It was terribly hard but it was the best thing for both of us.

If he refuses help there's little you can do - I'm sure he'd rather stay home - wouldn't we all? However, falling means he's a danger to himself and to others when they try to pick him up. If he really should not be at home any longer his kids need to practice some tough love. Next time he falls don't pick him up - call 911 and let them haul him to the ER. Once there, they should tell the docs, HIS doc, nurses, social services (EVERYBODY) that he refuses to take meds, falls all the time can't go home because there's no full time help there. Tell him the family wishes he'd go to assisted living. If they try to tell you he's free to go - don't pick him up. the hospital has a duty to release him ONLY to a location and people where they know he'll get the help and care he needs.

This is a really tough situation - the kids want to respect and help their dad to do what he wants but the dad is not reasonable any longer. He'll likely push it until he drives the kids away if he continues this behavior. He's lucky to have the kids and the daughter is lucky to have you to care enough to seek help here.