Follow
Share

I have to preface this post by saying by no means am I a model of virtue. Actually, I am borderline reckless, and things could have turned out differently. My story starts out about 10 years after I moved back to upstate NY from Oregon. I moved for a better job, the company I landed with has manufacturing plants across the US. I had worked previously in the Little Falls plant for a company bought out by the current owners. I spent a year in Syracuse, and when the opportunity came, I relocated back to Little Falls. I needed help cleaning out my apartment, so I hired my niece for a few weekends to help us both out. I don't know when it started, but she became addicted to painkillers. She had 2 small daughters, and I felt I had to help them out despite the addiction. My family warned me I was enabling her addiction. I was I know, But deep down I knew she was a good person, plus I couldn't let the kids starve. I helped her out with her car payments and took her grocery shopping so the kids would have food. When she couldn't keep up with the car payments, I gave her my old car (I was planning to retire and figured I'd get something that will last). It was rough for a while, but she overcame her addiction, settled in with a CNA job, even started classes to get her LPN. My mom is being released tomorrow from the hospital to rehab. We selected the NH where my niece works, which has a separate rehab facility. There is a 14 day quarantine period for visitors due to Covid. My niece already made all the arrangements and will keep an eye on her when we can't. My niece probably isn't doing this out of gratitude, just her love for her grandmother. I'd like to think that by believing in her, I helped set her on the right path. I posted about my brother and his problems a few days ago. He called me yesterday, stone cold sober, and agreed with all of our decisions. He always tells me I'm doing a great caregiving for mom, and how much the family appreciates it. I have my moments of doubt, and I can't take all the credit. I have lots of help. I really feel so sorry for the members of this forum who don't get the same support as I do. Caregiving is tough enough as it is, I couldn't imagine going it alone. I don't feel qualified to give advice unless it's something I really know about (like pressure ulcers). Peace to you all out there and thanks for listening.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
CT, your family are very fortunate having you. All the best.
(0)
Report

Momheal1, no reason to apologize, I should be the one offering an apology. Stupid me, anyone who can't be bothered to offer assistance to a close caregiver wouldn't go anywhere near this site, and I mean of any gender.
(0)
Report

My apologies - my husband and my nephew are the only reason I am still standing! They have done things to help me that my own sister couldn’t/wouldnt do so I do know how many great male caregivers are here💕 - you are a good human ;)
again I apologize
(0)
Report

One small correction, I'm an uncle. I take no offense at all. Far to often the caregiving falls in the lap of a female. I'm sure (or hope) there are a few males in this forum that took up the challenge of caring for a LO. To the rest that don't, c'mon guys, step up your game. You too have responsibilities as well. If you can't because of career concerns, then lend as much support as you can. It needn't be time or money. There are many other things you can help out with. Sorry for getting preachy. This is a hot button issue for me.
(4)
Report

You are an inspiration to us all. Wonderful you helped your niece and brother and they turned their life around. I bet it is a relief niece is looking after things and of course she is doing it out of love but also she is a grateful to her aunt for help her when she needed someone most.I It was thoughtful and kind of your brother to tell you are doing a great job for your mother.I am sure you appreciated the comment. WIshing you, your mom, niece and brother many blessings.
(0)
Report

♥️ Thank you for sharing!!

I also saw my young nephew suffering when he was 21 - He is my husbands godson and almost 11 years ago I asked a court to allow us to bring him 1500 miles away and help him - they allowed it.

His 11 year sober date is 10/6/21 - the same as my husband (his godfathers) birthday!

Sometimes we all just need some extra love to allow us to be who we are meant to be. I consider him part my kid now :) and he (like your niece) has been the same rock to me through moms stroke as we were for him in his struggle.

This year he will fly home to Boston where he grew up and run the “Boston Marathon” for the Herren Project - raising money to help support others battling substance use. 🦋 I am a Proud Auntie.

In my heart - People are always worth helping.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter