My 88 year old father lost his eye sight 6 months ago to macular degeneration and has just been diagnosed with colon cancer. The doctor gave him 3 choices: (1) Have surgery with a 50 percent chance of survival. (2) Have chemo. (3) Do nothing. Should I influence his decision and if so which way?

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my father is 86 and theres something wrong with prostate but he refuse to let the dr look inside of him to check it out .
ive ask him please let the dr check it out , it could be something simple and be fixed , no he says , so i have to sit back and wonder ,
its his life and nothing i can do but make him comfertable and hope theres nothing wrong with his prostate ...

Unless he has mental issues, I would say no. That is my personal opinion, but I feel people have rights. Your dad sounds capable of make this decision.

The effects of anesthetics (watch for an article I am writing about this that will go up early in January) have been shown, in some studies, to push an elder over the edge into dementia. Also, of course, there is greater risk that he may die from the trauma or the anesthetic. He also needs to decide how much his body can take from chemo and radiation.

If he decides to let it go, watch carefully for when he gets to a stage where there is pain. Then, I would advise you bring in hospice care. They are wonderful about helping people who are terminal live with as little pain as possible, until they die a natural death. I am eternally grateful for Hospice of the Red River Valley's care of my parents.

This is hard, I know. I had to stand back and let my mother make a similar decision. However, at the time she was able to do so, and it was her life.

Take care of yourself, too. Please come back here for support.

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