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He is up for a few hours then falls back to sleep. He hardly talks at all anymore is very frail. I think he is coming to his end of life wakes up confused. Can anyone help me I'm his little girl as he used to put it. Very hard to see him like this. My heart says maybe another year or two at most, he heart a triple bypass in 07.

I'm in the same boat my dear. My dad is 91 and not terminally ill. His mobility is getting worse, he barely eats enough to stay alive, and is in bed 20 hours or more per day. It is so hard to watch my superhero deteriorate. There is not much we can do, except be there for them. My siblings suck. I get NO help from them. Maybe they call and ask about him once or twice a month. My dad is depressed. I have called in hospice to help me out. Dad 'doesn't want or need their help'. He threatened to move out of my guest house the other day when my husband and hospice 'ganged up' on him to shower. I told him he may not need help but I do. I told him his option if he wants to move is a nursing home. I try not to get frustrated with him but lord have mercy, he is testing me..... I can only offer my empathy because I am at a loss as well. I think we need to honestly accept that they are mortal and we are lucky to still have them at all. I pray for you, I've even asked god to put dad out of his misery. Then I feel guilty. But his quality of life is lacking quality and life. he's just existing at this point. Very Sad
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I can empathize with you. I am so sorry this is happening. I am going through the same issues with my Mother. She was always so very healthy and vibrant and it just seems like all of a sudden she got old and now she sleeps all the time and does not eat. I have her in "In Home Hospice" because I could not bear to put her in a home until I absolutely have to. I will pray for you and your Dad. I know there is a special bond there.
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Did his bloodwork include potassium levels. My Dad also had heart desease. After going on disability, he lost lots of weight and got depressed. At the time he was going to a GP. When it was found he needed open heart surgery the test showed low potassium. Once his levels were brought up, he was a changed man. No more depression and back to his old self.
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97yroldmom asked about hospice for your dad - since you first posted you think it may be end of life for him.

watching someone get ill / getting old can be a very frightening experience.

97yroldmom gave some really good ideas

make a list of all those ideas - so you can start accomplishing them one by one.
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He can barely eat now had all his teeth removed 4 years ago never got dentures we took him to the dentist his gums have receeded so bad they need to break his jaw to give him any kind of teeth, or dentures he said no. Says he doesnt want to drink very much because he will need to use restroom doesnt like that he cant walk without the walker
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They did blood work prediabetic he suffered from depression is on meds. Blood work came back good. He tells me he doesnt understand why he can barely walk anymore keeps asking me the same thing several times. He loves going to casino we all go and make it a day buffet and all. But he says he is fine and just wants to stay home. We rescued him out of a emotionally abusive relationship 2 years ago after he tried to commit suicide by overdose of meds. I know my daddy he has just given up he worked physically demanding jobs up until 15 years ago started declining after heart bypass but really deteriating 4 years ago. He acts like he has just checked out. I honestly do not think i am over reacting
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It’s a primary or internal med doctor that treats elders. Specializes in geriatrics. They better understand medications and health conditions for elders.
Here is a link with some information.
http://www.healthinaging.org/find-a-geriatrics-healthcare-professional/

I take my aunt (91) to one. Hers is very easy to work with. She’s associated with a medical school and actually teaches other drs how to be a geriatric dr. There are not enough of them around. If you can’t find one in your area consider looking to the next larger city.
Did your dad’s dr do blood work?
Your dad sounds depressed when you mention him sleeping and crying.
Has he lost weight? Try giving him one of the nutritional drinks like Ensure plus or boost or mixing up one of your own. Give him one everyday for a couple of weeks and see if he feels better. Chart his weight and vitals to see what’s going on.
What medications does your dad take? Is he already on an antidepressant? They can help. The exercise can also help. Since you just saw the dr a couple of months ago perhaps you can just call his office and ask for a physical therapy evaluation for him. They can come to your home to do that.
The book I recommended is about living a good life until you die. Not about ways to live longer.
What did the doctor say was wrong with your dad? Did he think he needed hospice or palliative care?
He’s stressed, depressed, sick, tired or something to be sleeping so much. He may be perfectly content to do that but it doesn’t sound like he’s happy.
You also might try giving him an egg everyday. I heard a dr say years ago that an egg a day will help keep a person from becoming frail.
I know it’s hard to see him decline. He’s lucky to have a loving daughter watching out for him.
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A geriatric dr never heard of that how would i find out. He barely eats and appetite ok dr saw him 2 months ago noticed he was different off the bat said if he was not living with me he would put him in a home. Daddy started crying he never leaves the home
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How long has it been since your dad has been to see his primary for a complete work up?
He may have developed new symptoms that could be easily treated. Or he may be over medicated. It might be a good time to find him a geriatric primary.
Does he have a good appetite? Is he staying hydrated? Has he been checked for a UTI? Is he continent? Blood pressure and pulse and o2 saturation good?
Start with the basics.
If all that is good a round or two of physical therapy might refresh his energy and help his mobility.
Pick up a copy of “ Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. You’ll be glad you did.
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