Well it's official - my family sued me for allegedly messing with their inheritence

yes i understand totally but my family didnt recieved anything but i stood my ground i got to speak in court and said what i had to say, my family didnt deserve any of my parents money all they did was wasted money on a attorney and he robbed them blind. i didnt get not one attorney cause i didnt do anything wrong and i refused to pay i will quote what i said "i will not pay my family not one dame dime they do not deserve it"and i left it at that..next thing i know i got a letter that the case was dropped ...but i will tell you this i did recieved my fasther death benifit i didnt tell them til a yr later and trust and believe only one got mad about it but who cares

For some of you it is too late but for the rest I have some advice. As long as Mother was able to live alone my siblings would occasionally go by and see about her. I lived in another state so I stayed in touch by phone. As soon as she needed full time care I was elected. I moved her into my home and the first thing we did was go see a good lawyer. I have power of attorney over everything that involves her. If I become incapacitated one of my kids has been named to take over. The lawyer questioned her alone to be sure she agreed with this so there would be nothing to question in court. I get about $200.00 a month from her for expenses. She is saving her money because she wants to have something to leave me when she is gone. The older they get the "funnier" they get about money. It might be a good idea to go ahead and get power of attorney before they need care---just in case.
If your loved one is mentally unstable, you need to consult a lawyer about how to get things set up legally. I don't think any of my family will say a thing but I've seen too many turn into greedy vultures.
Get legal advice and save yourself some headaches and heartaches. No amount of money can repay for the time, effort and stress of caring for a loved one---even a well behaved one. So do yourself a favor and don't count on the family to sprout angel wings when there is money or property involved.

The money was never the issue in my story or property..i loved my parents and ii i could have one more day with them trust and believe one thing for sure they trusted me totally they nevered trusted the older ones and i seen why, they are irrresponsible and vindictive..but you can't pick ur family members but you can love them from a far....i knew what my dad was doing yrs ago when him and mom came and visit me all the way to colo..what he told me i kept to myself and still is, if they knew how dad really felt they would all feel so stupid..dnt get me wrong he love us all he just had reservatons on some of them

Who had POA ? Also did you have a joint account. In other wards how did you gEt the 51,000. And how
Did they know? I'm sorry you had to go throuh this. I really don't understand if hr gave it
T to you how they can sue.

oh yes they can families can do about just anything.. i found that out,.in the beginning for 5 yrs i had D.P.O.A along with my older brother which my father didnt want him on it i told my father he had to put someone else on there with me, trust me that was a fight cause like i said he didnt trust the three oldest one but let them tell it oh dad trust them more than the rest ,,WRONG!!! i didnt pay it back i got up in court and told the judge i refuse to pay my family money they did not help me at all and when they did help me they wanted to borrow from him.. it happen, i dnt know how they came up with 51,000 dollars it was a total joke..but i had the last laugh...u feel me?? i didnt jump up and got a lawyer i refuse too because i didnt spend no 51,000 dollars. now what my brother and i did was took out a another mortage to fixed up the house they didnt appreciate that..so the hell with them and i showed them too... i admit i was scared at first but when i got to thinking and i got a free consulation from a lawyer and talk to my pastor of my church, i said to myself and i talk to my dad at his resting place the same wk i had to go to court and i got strong i got my mothers back and i went up in that court room with my chicken-shit brother satting way in the back and i told them i will not pay put me in jail do what you half to do, my father did not want this..and when i told my father before he started loosing his facilties i would have a fight with them and dame if i didntt.. he told me..i was to much like my mom i can handle this and i did....so they strip me from everything made me move out of my fathers house which that was a blessing..cause i almost lost the man i love i have been with for 25 yrs at the time he couldnt take it as well...my sister move in cause she had gotten evicted out of her place so that was thei plan but it back fired i prayed so hard for my mom to come and get my dad and the good lord and her did..my sister got screwed they all did cause it stated in the will after my dad or mom which one was left here whoever is living in the house will half to move out within 45 of their passing .see they should have left well enough alone and my sister has been a in a rut every since and i dnt feel sorry for her it was for her benifit not dads thats why everything ended they way it did ..like i said i got the last laugh and i laugh so hard i cried....

You mean they sued you before your Dad was even buried?
What grounds did they use. Didn't they have to have some sort of proof? Or can they just file withnoreason?

msdive ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) - you have been through the mud and came up smelling like roses - Bless you and bless God for looking after you.

msdiva - thank you for a good story and an even better life lesson.

yes!!!! they started the procedure before my dad passed that sept before he died in 2009 i started getting my court papers in 2008...and i knew my dad wasnt gonna be here in 2009 just because i told him what was going on he understood when it came to his MONEY (hahaha) and when i mentioned the names of who doing this he flipped!! you know for 5 yrs a conversation of me and my dad accidently was taped he was fooling with my ph one day in the kitchen and he turned on my recorder and i didnt know it tape our conversation and i told him what was going on and he flipped.. he told me he didint want me to move out and didnt want my sister and them kids here and thats just had he said it on the tape i sent it to my sister and of course she said i coached him but if you heard it you would know it wasnt coached..before the papers came i had a feeling something was going on, you know when you get a feeling something was wrong i got that feeling so in june i put on the BIGGEST fathers day for my dad they all was in on it cause i knew he was not gonna be here next yr we ordered T Shirts the works BBQ and we are a well known family in the communtiy and just everybody that knew us came it wad great.. in oct i went to court thats when they strip me from everything his birthday i put out a nice birthday thanksgiving and then chrsitmas and since my brother was a coward he couldnt event tell me when to move out so thats why i told them i wanted the holidays with him cause i KNEW...and thanks to my pastor he told them that i would be out by jan 31st and my sister needs to be ready to move in Feb 1 and of course she was mad cause she wanted me to move out by the 12th of oct, I Told her there is NO WAy i was miving 6 yrs out in 30 days and i didnt but my old man just couldnt take my family mess anymore he went out and found me a house and on this perticular day NOV 4th OBAMA

sorry...got cut off....came president i got my house but i didnt move til DEC 22ND i had christmas with my dad and i told him i was leaving..you guys...i wasnt gone a week and dad got sick and when in the hospital, they wanted to to do all this stuff and my dad signed DNR and my selfished brother wanted to revoked it and it wouldnt happened, he went back home but he shut hisself down wouldnt do nothing for my sister...my dad passed 2 mons 2 wks and 3 days after i moved out..so now tell me i didnt get all i ask for...

the grounds were neglect and and use my dads money and didnt have alll the reciepts to show for just cks and they were all legal i didnt keep good account to them and i admit i didnt but i nevered thought my family would sue me

thats a good lesson - I have DPOA, and mother still manages her money, but if I end up managing it at some point, I know I have to keep very good records, receipts etc as I strongly suspect my sis would do that to me. I have found out that for some time she has been wanting to inherit all mother's money, It is so sad when family members will do this to one another out of greed.

yes it is i keep reciepts for EVERYTHING thing now.. even for toilet paper (hahaha)

Glad your greedy siblings ended up with nothing, but legal bills. Hope their attorney charged them big time. I admire your courage and diligence.

This happens all too often. It helps to have a family meeting PRIOR to beginning a "paid" caregiver role. That way all the siblings have their opportunity to offer to help with various work..some can be done from afar, such as paying bills, balancing checkbooks, coming up once a month for doctor's visits, etc. Detailed records of expenses paid, including receipts, is for your own protection. TRANSPARENCY is the key. Protect yourself by being transparent from day 1.

love eds advice. when the facts are on your side people cant do anything with you but stare. every statement you make reinforces previous statements. fact is some wicked s**t..
the only thing i could add to that is judges are exceptionally good at sorting out the honest people from the flim - flammers. its what they do..

Well, counter sue for back caregiver's pay of $150 a day plus retirement and social security. They are wrong. Google this and you will find that is what you can sue for! Pluse, how about pain and psychological suffering!

I was glad to see this post. 4 yrs after going and getting my mother from another state at my expense my brothers are NOW wanting me to do an accounting of all mother's assets. HELLO? She had some furniture and clothes and 5k to her name when the doctor told me she could no longer live alone after she had lived with both brothers who sold her vehicles, home and cashed in her cd's and bank accounts. When she had nothing much left she was let go to get an apt. For 3 yrs she struggled and fell ill again. I have my records and some of hers for the 3 yrs she struggled. How dare they make claims now, when I pay what her $900 dollars a month don't pay each month due to doctor bills!! I feel like sending them a bill for a 3rd of this expense!! I have paid to date 34K. Any suggestions anyone?????

I have always said that when my parents die & my siblings come looking for their inheritance I will had them a stack of bills & says,"here's your inheritance. Now when can I expect payment?"

Daughter debt start sending them monthly bills!

Cheribob... I done sent them a copy of all the monthly expenses and the amount of mom's social security check. Then topped if off with the ones paid by my personal checking account. My understanding from my attorney is if she did have anything left in her estate, I could show proof in probate as a debt owed and collect it all back out of the estate. So let them show up for a will reading. I am ready.

Thanks to the wise comments on this thread I am now sending my brother a copy of dad's monthly expenditures & a list of what I have paid for. I hope it will keep my brother from asking for money from my father. I also hope my brother will be inspired to help with dad's expenses especially since he was always after dad for loans, money, co-signing loans etc. But don't worry, I am not holding my breath.

Make sure you put in the expenses $500 housing with utilities. It is a gently reminder that when a parent is living with a child they are paying their share. My attorney said to do this.

my mom passed in September 2013, I was as the representative, power of attorney, and personal representative. I have two brothers one older one younger my younger brother and I work the primary caregivers, mainly myself, after my mother passed I read the will which stated my oldest brother would get her house we lost the house my younger brother was to get and I have my grandmothers, who is bad as well. My name is on all the deets. My brother what's going through a divorce and it nowhere to live. Ix my older brother to buy me out and I would release the lane to him for a fee we agreed on. In order to give my other brother money tomove . He said no. He moved out and left the house. My younger brother live there now. Should the house be given to my older brother because it was in the will? He did live there, but did very little caring for Mom. What do you think?

Sorry to hear of your mother's death.

Are you the person to execute the Will?

Fair or not, the Will is a legally binding document of you mother's last wishes. It can't be changed, but must be executed as stated. I am surprised to learn that her estate has not been settled almost 2 years after her death.

Torn, unfortunately it is your duty to carry out the Will. The financial problems of the heirs is not relevant. Carry it out as written or you could end up in jail.
There is no fair or unfair at this point. There is the Will, and the law says you uphold it.

Get to a lawyer for a free consult, you may be able to recover some compensation if you can prove you were her caregiver.

I get my mothers groceries and other things she needs and she has me use her bank debit card so what I do is keep all receipts from bank withdrawl to grocery receipts and it is labelled with what is bought so if the bank account is checked everything is accounted for...you have to assume while your siblings cant be bothered because the elderly parent is a nuisance they will tun on you with accusations

I did consult an attorney and he said because the house was in both our names she could not will it to my brother. I am sole owner because of rights of survivor.

I don't mean to hijack your thread msdiva, but some interesting issues have been brought up here.
I have been living with my Dad, since May 2013, because he asked me to live with him, so I did as he wished. Since living there, I haven't paid any "rent" (so to speak), but I do all of the "usual house" related things. I cook meals, clean, do the dishes/laundry and everything outside, i.e. mowing, house repairs, lawn care, etc.. In addition to those things, I also buy all of the groceries and household items that are needed. I also take care of all of his Dr. appointments, including taking him there and back home.
My older brothers basically have nothing to do with Dad. One lives less than 10 miles away and visits Dad once every week, or two. Prior to Dad being diagnosed with throat cancer, he hadn't seen Dad in over 6 months. The other lives about 5 hours away and MIGHT see Dad once a year. Prior to cancer, this brother hadn't seen Dad in about.....6 years!
I am the executor of Dad's will and I KNOW that both brothers WILL "be there" when Dad passes....I can guarantee you of that! I know that they are going to EXPLODE when they find out that *I* am the executor and will come back on me about not paying Dad any "rent" while living there...I know they will!!
What do I need to do to protect myself from being drug threw the legal system when Dad passes?? Any/all advice is appreciated
By the way.....both brothers have a LOT of money.....one just moved into a $300,000 home and the other has an acreage/farm AND a "winter" home in California!! I understand they are in dire straits, but not nearly as much as I am....I have enough money to basically survive.