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Sorry don't know where to put this topic . My aunt is in bad health worse then my mom. She broke her foot a long time ago, from then on she has one thing after another been in hospitals. She is not mobile she uses a scooter to get around. Basically housebound. Her boyfriend has a lot of health issues as well from the war he's a vet. They both have helpers that come in the home, he has a VA nurse. They are both in their 70s he just lost his son on top of his health issues.


Any ways, since her mom is homebound my cousin got out of caregiving, has her own life, has two degrees but hasn't worked in a year. Has always gotten fired begs her mom for money pays her food and rent she lives in Michigan about two hours away. Her mom enables her behavior enables her period. I would love to see my cousin take care of my mom for a week while my dad is at work. She has no clue what I do she wouldn't last a day. I do not like my cousin I don't want anything to do with her. My cousin has it easy. I know life is not fair. She got out of it you can say she is a hater always has been. She has to one up me. She started it. She had the best of everything growing up clothes, vacations, homes, friends, a very nice life style and she complain endlessly. I hate the fact she got out of caregiving. She should be helping her mom she's a year older then me 48. Life isn't fair and the lemons don't help no matter how much you have it leaves a bad taste behind she's nothing but sour.

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"She started it." Last time I heard that was from an 8-year old. Compare and despair. Get your eyes off of her and on to your own situation. If you hate the caregiving you are performing then make a plan to get out of it. You are not obligated to do it. It's a choice you made.
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I don’t exactly understand your posting. Can you clarify please? What is your relationship with your aunt? Do you care for her? Who does care for her. Are you caring for someone?

What does your cousin have to do with you? Is she in your life somehow? If she isn’t, let her go. Don’t involve yourself in her life. Concern yourself with your life. Hope things get better for you soon.
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I sometimes feel bad for myself and situation. But it's up to us to improve our situation. Like looking into hiring help etc.
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Lolaloud,

I am sorry you’re feeling so bitter about your cousin. And you’re absolutely right, life isn’t fair. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. It just doesn’t seem right. My concern though, is for you. There is nothing good that can come of your fretting over your cousin, but there is a lot of bad. Every minute you waste on her, chips away at your well-being. It’s not worth it. Like Becky said several comments before mine, “let it go.” Life is tough enough, don’t let this kind of stuff get under your skin.
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As long as your aunt it competent, she is free to give the funds as she sees fit. I have learned that doing good deeds doesn't necessarily mean that you will be rewarded in life. In fact, with me, I often feel like the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished." lol But, I get your point.

It's hard to see those who need it the least, get the most. I try not to dwell on it though. I have much more than a lot of people in some respects. I have a lot to think about in terms of my hard work and devotion. I learned the true meaning of being GRATEFUL, because, things were earned, not gifted to me.

There will always be some people who are better off financially, but, that doesn't bring happiness. My joy comes from intangible things like the love of friends and family, laughter, music, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that things are right with my soul. (Sorry, I'm not a very religious person, but, that's the best way I can describe it.) Google BYU Vocal Point, It Is Well With My Soul. I don't think we are supposed to post links here. PM me if you like and I'll send it to you.
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Your bitterness is loud and clear.

Now do you feel better?

Nope, then you need to look to yourself and decide why you are so concerned about your cousin and Aunt's relationship?

Everyone is dealt a different hand in this life. We can look with envy at another's life, or we can decide to do something about our own.

My former MIL is a prime example of envy. She has never done anything to improve her lot, but wishes mightily that she had my step Mum's life. I finally had enough of it and asked her which of her children she wanted to die? Which of her grandchildren? What she would do when her house burnt to the ground and she lost everything? Why, because these are a few of the things my wonderful step mum lived through. Yet, SM is a beautiful person who wishes the best for everyone, she does not play the woe is me card.

If you do not like your situation, change it.
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I'm going to come across as a 3itch but your cousin chose not to be a caregiver, you did. We often tell people on the forum that caregiving "is" a choice - the other options may seem impossible but be assured if you were hit by a bus tomorrow somebody else would fill the gap.
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You need to let all of this go. This is between your aunt and your cousin. Dwelling on this resentment accomplishes nothing . Let it go.
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