My brother has said he is done with my mom because of my daddy’s will.

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He said that’s the final will yet everything was left to my mom. It states that if my mom died before my dad it would go into a trust and my brother and I would be trustees. See my dad said that if that happened I would get half of the income from the farm. My mom's will gives my brother 290 acres minus 10 acres and her house to us. Would it go by my mom or Dad's will? My father died in 2016.

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Thanks for the update. I am glad that your Mom is working with the lawyer in regards to the Family Farm (the house & 10 acres and the separate 280 acres of farmland).

Even though you do not understand why you need to be on the conference call on Monday with your Mom and the lawyer; Please MAKE TIME to do so. They would not have told you to be a part of the conference if it wasn't important and if it did not pertain to you.

I was wondering if your brother was concerned that he might not inherit the farmland because your Mom might have to sell it to pay for her medical bills.

If I understand you correctly, your Mom's Will states that you will inherit "everything" (the house & 10 acres PLUS the 280 acres of farmland). Since you don't want the farmland that you are going to inherit, are you planning to "sell" the farmland to your brother? You really can't just "give" the farmland to your brother. He is going to have to pay you something for the farmland.

Let us know how everything goes with your FIL moving in with you this weekend and what happens during the conference call on Monday.

Take Care & God Bless!! 66Prayers^^ & {{Hugs}}
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here is a quick update. my mom finally got serious with her lawyer. i guess for some reason i have to be on a conference call on monday with her and her lawyer. i don’t get iy. i can see her and my brother. good news is he is actually dropping off the contract today at the lawyer. i don’t know if i shared this but my mom didn’t have a copy of the contract. i guess the lawyer talked to my brother and he is afraid that there is not going to be a farm because of all her medical bills. but honestly it is her farm. and if that doesn’t happen i am getting everything. i have told him over and over again that we don’t want any farm land. he has worked hard for it. i don’t know what to believe. also my mom said he has liens on the machinery. i don’t know if this is true but i know he said that he lost 180,000 in the last three years. on another note. tomorrow is the day my father in law moves in. we are driving to milwaukee to get a bed after my husband gets home from work . stay cool and safe today everyone
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rovana,
"Land is NOT just land; a house is NOT just a house!!"
Are you or were you ever a farmer? Has your family traveled from Eastern United States or from Europe by wagon with all of your worldly goods to land that has no towns or cities or to the open prairies; and homesteaded the land; cut down 100 year old trees to build a rough log cabin or build sod houses or dug holes into the side of a hill for a house; plowed the hard sod with a horse or even have your wife pulling the plow; put seed into the ground and watch it grow only to have grasshoppers eat everything; and then raise a family on that farm and help build a town?

Staffbull18's Family Farm has been in their family for over 200 YEARS!! (since 1818 or earlier). The farm may be as old as the country of United States of America. And you chide her for being sentimental??

If you are not a farmer and never have been, then you have NO RIGHT to judge or criticize Staffbull or anyone else who is or was a farmer. Staffbull already feels bad enough. She doesn't need someone to make such hurtful comments about her family. True, the farm that her brother sold is NOT the "Family Farm". BUT he will NOT be farming the Family Farm anymore and that hurts!

If you cannot say something positive and uplifting, please do not write on this post anymore. Thank you.
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I'm not sure I agree that selling a farm is losing your family heritage. People can earn a living in many ways and if you need/or want to change your way, why not? Land is just land; house is just a house; don't sacrifice people's lives for these things.
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Staffbull, I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this turmoil all at once. Sadly, many of us have found that the care of the parents is done by the daughter. I am sure that your Dad appreciated that you took care of him and that your Mom appreciates all that you do for her.

Thank you for clarifying that your brother is selling HIS house and farm and having a Farm Sale on July 8 & 9, 2018 (and NOT your Mom’s house and farm). It is always sad when a family sells their farmland because you are losing your family heritage.

I am also glad that your Mom is going to the lawyer to figure out how to pay the insurance, mortgage and taxes and who is going to harvest the crop on your Mom’s farmland.

As Barb told you, most of us are “born fixer-uppers”. If someone tells us their problems, then we have to find a solution to their problem(s). If you simply want to vent, then “just VENT away”.

God Bless.
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Staffbull, the way you write doesn't matter if you are simply writing to vent and get out your frustrations. If that's what you're doing, no punctuation doesn't matter, vent away.

However, most of us here are inveterate "fixers". We try to help people. If you don't want suggestions or advice, just say that you're venting. We understand.
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thank you. i apologize now for no punctuation. no it’s not beneath me. my mom is going to her lawyer tomorrow morning and she will ask what his intentions are regarding the crops. With the farm sale being in july he will not have any machinery to harvest anyway. furthermore, she rents the land way below asking price so she gets just enough money for the mortgage and taxes. so yes they’re land rich but cash poor. i appreciate your posts that encourage me but i am sorry i still feel invalidated and criticized for the way i am doing somethings. i am trying to do the best i can in these situations and i come here and i can’t even write correctly. again i am sorry i can’t write right for you. funny thing is i have a degree in communications, i don’t know what others feel but when you are hurting does the way you write really matter. i feel knocked down again
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Staffbull, as you know, my family also owns 2 farms. So I understand what you are going through.

I am sorry that you feel afraid to post anything because you feel attacked and invalidated. We are NOT ATTACKING YOU.

Imagine if you were a school teacher and asked your students to write an essay. You would expect the students to use correct punctuation and grammar, Right? That is all that the other people are asking--that you write in proper sentences using periods, commas, etc. and make paragraphs between the different topics of your posts. Like I did with your earlier posts.

It took me 3+ hours to rewrite your posts and figure out what you were saying.

It is the WAY that you are typing that is frustrating to other people. Your sentences run together. If I typed what I just wrote the same way that you type it, this is how it would look:

[staffbull as you know my family also owns 2 farms so i understand what you are going through i am sorry that you feel afraid to post anything because you feel attacked and invalidated we are not attacking you imagine if you were a school teacher and asked your students to write an essay you would expect the students to use correct punctuation and grammar right that is all that the other people are asking that you write in proper sentences using periods commas etc and make paragraphs between the different topics of your posts like i did with your earlier posts it took me 3+ hours to rewrite your posts and figure out what you were saying it is the way that you are typing that is frustrating to other people your sentences run together if i typed what i just wrote the same way that you type it this is how it would look]

Which version is easier to read and to understand? Do you now see why the other people sounded upset? They couldn't understand what you were saying!!

Please continue to express your feelings here. Just remember to use punctuation with periods and commas and paragraphs. God Bless.
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At this point, I think your husband needs to take over FILs care. You need all ur focus on Mom. Don't u love parents. Dad saying he was leaving you land you could rent if you didn't want to come back to live. Its still a responsibility you don't need. My Dad could have sold part of his property for houses. No, keeping it for you kids. 40 yrs later I can't sell it. There is nothing left for us kids. Which is OK.
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Staffbull, adding punctuation shouldn't be beyond you, and keeping to one topic at a time would really be helpful.... all the little details and back story is just confusing and hard to wade through. I'm not trying to side against you, I'm trying to offer neutral a voice of reason amid all the chaos.
I get that you are stressed.
I get that you are caught up in a family drama that probably isn't of your own making, and it seems there have been some longstanding problems around your mother's gambling and money management.

You stepped up and cared for your parents after being away for 30 years despite having your own health problems and in-laws to care for - kudos to you, you are a good daughter! None of that is really relevant to the problem at hand.

Brother has given his notice that he no longer wants to farm and is selling his own house and land. The previous agreement was that he paid the taxes and mortgage in lieu of/in addition to rent on your parent's property, but if he is no longer farming the land then he no longer will be paying, right? You say the land is worth a substantial amount of money, is your mother (like many farmers) land rich and cash poor and so strapped for cash she can't pay her mortgage and taxes?

I think you need to figure out where you are going from here and put aside everything that has gone on in the past.

Is the land planted, or is it sitting fallow - if brother put a crop in then isn't he expecting to harvest it, if not is it too late to rent the land to someone else this year?

Cutting grass isn't a priority, I see plenty of town properties that look like they have a hay field in their yard, it doesn't matter.

It is time to put into motion plans for your mother going forward, while the farm pulls at your sentimental heartstrings you admittedly are not a farmer and neither is your husband. The land is a huge asset that can be used to pay the bills for many years to come, you need to meet with the bank and a lawyer and get the ball rolling. (BTW I also had to sell my parent's farm and the adjoining land that my grandparents passed to an uncle, I get that it is hard)
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