some kind of legal leg to stand on in which i have the right to see the POA -the most recent one- he told me i was no longer had any
say in moms care- but i never actualy saw the papers- which would include the date it was signed-I know he most likely showed them when she went into the hosp.the 1st time, but since he
wasnt around to accompany my mom by ambulance from ny to mass.(the nursing home she is in)-it is possible i wouldhave something legal to use inorder to get back into my moms care-
i am already in the same position as last time- dont tell, dont pay attention, dont include - another isolation - but it wil have a more immediate and serious effect on mom-
it already has- but without going into my usual rants- that is the question-
do i have a right-as first born-took care of mom 12 yrs-etc.was always on POA with brother until past yeat-id like to see the actual paper-maybe it isnt even there- or maybe it was dont when she waws not cear on what they were doing-
i know she always wanted me to participate in her healt-since i have the most experience and knowlegde of her history-
maybe this could help
but by now, i dont see any chance to hep her.
but it doesnt hurt to ask-right?
i feel like i am just ready to snap- why al this fighting to dowhat
is best for her when all it comes down to is $,he has a huge hand in her finacial stuff- and so he is just finding more ways to lock me out-oush me aside and convice anyone who will listen 0 he is the ony one to contact and discuss -
makes me sad and sik-quite disgusting- families get so weird when parent die=it doesnt make sense
u would thin this is the time to support eachother- but he is married and has a kid and his inwws are coseby him shouse-and so -i know-it is what it is-that i have to dea with it-that is the intellegent side of me- the emotional side however is just
feels like a 5 yr old ready to throw a fit-a temper tantrum
thank go dfor my babies- my 3

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I am re reading my post,and i must apologize for the way it was written.i was so upset ,and so frustrated-i didnt read it over before i sent it,and i am surprised anyone could read it-
but i know u got the jist of it-
I am a little less angry, finally got thru to one of the doctors up there,( a 2 day a week visit to the nursinghome, no doctor there everyday) and after a few calls, i have more of an idea of what is going on,sort of,it isnt like her medical team her when she was in the city,and apparently they dont really seek out info from her previous doctors. I have info that he didnt know about,so that was a help-him being open to hearing me out andsuggesting a few ideas,i offered to call her doctors and have them send up test results and other info from her chart,so that at least these doctors will havemore info to refer to.amaing how things work in the medical field- unbelievable-i wonder if they really try and figure out how to help their patients- or just make a few attempts,and figure they are going to go anyway-so why put the effort in.
well, i guess i am still very angry..
she isnt doing well, dispite the media-like updates my brother sends out.i feel that now ,having made a connection with her doctor-i can lessen the stress of trying to get some written authority-the POA,
one way or another, I will make my concerns known, and unfortuately,what will eventually happen,will. I am so exhausted. I dontknow how some of u manage dealing with your partent(s) disease-that alone is overwhelming,but a job,and kids,and a spouse,,, superhuman,wonderful ,special
are u-my sarcastic side says for what? to end up suffering like them? i am losing faith in all of this. for what?why?to end up losing respect and dignity,to lose all control -physical and mental?and die? It seems so useless-maybe it is in the process that is to be experienced rather than the outcome?
i dont know anymore-it is a hard life-i hate to see my mom suffer so-i miss her already and she isnt even gone yet. ill stop ranting- thank you for being here-it is so helpful!!love u all.
thank u
for your comments- they are much appreciated-karen

If your name was on the first POA with your brother, then only your mother could have changed it, but not your brother. Very often a durable POA is registered with the register of deeds for it is a public, notarized legal document. Each of you should have a copy of that POA. Do you know what lawyer wrote the POA up and it might be a good idea to see if he has a copy of it.

Not knowing your financial situation and having similar things to happen in my family. My advise to you is to contact an Elder Care Attorney, usually your first 30 minute contact is free or of very little cost.

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