My boyfriend stays in a house he built in a non profit organization, and takes care of an elderly man there. He is being accused of fraud.

Started by

A lady came from adult protective services and right off the bat was accusing my boyfriend of fraud that someone called and made a report on him, he takes care of this elderly man because his family was never around or would help him so we started helping him my boyfriend does everything for him and there friends for a long long time he even wanted my boyfriend to be his power of attorney and he's in his right state of mind and the power of attorney was notorized and filed. My boyfriend doesn't handle any of this man's money and he takes him to pay his bills, I feel real bad for my boyfriend cause this lady said a lot of bad accusations to someone she has never met and when I heard her tell the old man she thinks we're on drugs that pi**ed me off she doesn't know me and im not part of whatever is going on, I told her off , to have someone that suppose to be professional be so wrong, I don't even take over the counter drugs. The thing is I feel sorry for these caregivers who put there own lives aside to help somebody's else's parent so they can live a life get put in a terrible position because of some upset sibling not getting there way there's nothing in this for my boyfriend and the man he takes care of wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him. I know that there is elder abuse out there. I think taking care of someone and giving your life up for them should get much more pay than just $12 an hour, a nurse can come out for a half hour and take home 300.00, I like to do something to change that system and give more help to these caregivers


That woman is a bureaucrat and most of them aren’t even human. So she thinks the worst and has frightening power over innocent people’s lives.

Registered nurses spend 4-5 years in expensive training and study. They deserve their money. What’s needed is an overhaul of the public health system.
Oh! That was done and now everything is worse!
HolidayEnd, I don't think we've ever had an "overhaul of the public health system" and I agree we need it!

I think we need APS, because there really are cases of abuse and fraud that need to be investigated. But if this post is an example of how their employees behave, there needs to be some training overhauls and accountability put in place.
Ladana, did she accuse your BF of fraud, or did she explain that she was there because they had received an accusation of fraud? Did she tell the old man that she thought you were on drugs, or that they'd had accusations to that effect? Making accusations is not her role or her job. If she was making accusations on her own, and not merely reporting on the accusations that APS had received, then I think you should report her to APS. Think carefully, though, and be sure you aren't reacting to her explanation of accusations that other have made.

Is your BF getting paid for his caregiving services? By the old man himself or by Medicaid? How does the complaint of $12/hour relate to the APS investigation? (I agree that caregivers do not get paid enough. But nurses do not get $300 for half an hour. A client may be charged that much, but, believe me, the nurse certainly doesn't get that much! There is an entire organization backing the nurse up -- a doctor, a clinic, a billing office, a medical records department, possibly a lab -- that factor into the billing rate.)
Well, hang on a minute.

A report was made to APS that an elderly man was being exploited by a drug addict and his girlfriend.

APS followed it up. Er, yes. What should they have done?

A question is not an accusation. APS tells you that an anonymous person has reported these suspicions. You are able to rebut the allegations, entirely. Good!

At least part of the trouble happens when people take personal, indignant offence at being *asked.*

When it happens again and again, or if you get some zealous twelve year old social worker demanding to know how you're measuring your elder's daily dietary fiber intake, or especially when your demented elder is hollering 'help me! help me!' from his armchair...

Then it becomes very wearing, and demoralising, and you need to get support from people who've been there and understand.

But the solution is not going to be for APS to dismiss reports out of hand, just because the caregiver seems like such a nice young man.
Ladana, I’m going back to the title of your dilemma..nonprofit house and fraud charge. Having worked for Habitat for Humanity, the person/family who is receiving a house must disclose all sources of income of the inhabitants in order to qualify. Was the elders income not disclosed during an application for such a house and is that the fraud complaint?
“I told her off” is never the solution to anything.

Nurses do not get paid $300.00 per half hour.  Registered nurses have far more experience and education than the average caregiver. Caregivers do need to be paid more than they are currently paid.
The person who came out was not a nurse but a Social Worker. I have had maybe one Social Worker I liked. I find they don't tend to look outside of the box but stick to the rules. I think you overreacted but I can see why. Use this as a learning experience. I feel that she really was just trying to explain the complaint but maybe went about it wrong.

I have a feeling a family member has put in a complaint because the man asked ur BF to be his POA. Which he can do. All the BF needed to do was answer to the complaint. No he doesn't handle his money he just takes him to the bank and shopping. A urine test will prove no drugs. You have to realize that a person can file false accusations, its up to the SW to investigate them. She should have talked to the man privately with no outside interference. Her findings maybe in your favor.

I do hope your boyfriend and the man went to a lawyer to draw up the POAs. I know some members have said you can go on the internet and get a form and have it notarized. All the notary is doing is saying it has been proven to them that the man is who he says he is. They don't determine if he is cognitively able to assign someone. A lawyer will make sure the person understands what they are doing and is not being coerced. Personally, I feel more comfortable with a lawyer and the POA is more binding. I also hope ur boyfriend has not been put on this mans bank accounts. As POA, when the time comes when the man cannot think for himself, ur BF will be able to write checks as the POA. This may not be the only time you see APS. The person putting in the complaint may try again using a different set of allegations. You may want the man to start keeping receipts showing that his money is going for his care. Keep a journal. Money withdrawn, money spent. If he pays BF for gas, boyfriend needs to give man a copy of the gas receipt. Its called "covering your ass"
Remember "No good deed goes unpunished". Sad isn't it.
Thank you for your comments, to answer some of your questions, it seems that the elderly man's grandson was probably behind the lady coming out because he wanted to move in to his grandfather and grow marijuana and sell it, true story, but the old man said no way, he did try to move in and he had put all his grandfather's stuff out in the rain so he could have room for his and my boyfriend brought it back in and made his grandson leave,and he wasn't happy that he had to go. And also my boyfriend gets paid from himecare people and they only give him 57 hour a month,, but my boyfriend is there for him 24/7, my boyfriend doesn't get money from the old man. And I still think the lady that came out should of talk to us and not down on us , and she was accusing she should of been more professional, she didn't have a leg to stand, cause none of it is true, I see how my boyfriend takes care of this man, and anyone who takes care of someone knows how challenging it can be these care givers are friends , listeners, counselors,cookers ,cleaner and gardener all in one, and really don't get a break I see this it's a hard job and rarely get a thank you from anyone, and I hope that if I ever need help that it will be like what I see here, and I still think the systems need to be change and go after the ones that give false imformation
I had a scary situation where I was threatened with APS. We had a rude, obnoxious, empowered bully of an LPN assigned to us for "home care" - and I do use that term loosely. Pretty much everyone who came out from this agency (therapists, social work, - all of them) were poor quality and quite arrogant at the same time. I know none of them were making $300 for a half hour, but I understand why ladana made that statement because I'm sure all these people were making a pretty penny and they did essentially no discernable work. Unfortunately, Mom did not exactly thrive in the home environment and I think all of us agreed on that. Unfortunately, LPN didn't seem to get it that just because a person's condition changes in a way we don't like... it does not mean there is any abuse/neglect. LPN threatened me with APS. Yes, it WAS a threat. It scared me so much that I still to this very day worry they will show up at my door - and Mom's been in a facility for a while now.  LPN was also falsely claiming the house smelled bad & all those little things which painted the picture she wanted. Why would she do this? Because she can. She was of that "power" type of personality. Period. Meanwhile, I have a life and reputation to maintain and to have that threatened by anyone is very serious. I reported LPN to the RN who oversees her & RN told me "I'm too busy running my butt off to worry about that." Would have been nice to get rid of all of them, but this is what Mom's insurance covered & I feared that switching would be even worse.

Some people said to me "just let APS come out and see" and I do see the logic there, but it's insulting to be accused & somewhat more insulting to then have to spend time and resources defending myself when I should be caring for Mom.

I did have two reputable character witnesses step in on my behalf. Suddenly the RN who was "too busy" found the time to take power-trip LPN off of our Mom's case. I haven't heard anything from APS. It's been a while, but it still bothers me like i'm traumatized or something. I probably think about it every day to one degree or another. It was very unnerving. I've never before been accused of a serious crime & I wasn't sure how I should feel. Regarding the home care agency, we tried to elevate our complaint up the chain at the agency because we felt LPN was possibly in need of some retraining or mentoring since her job seems to have inflated her ego a little much. However, this agency was so disorganized that there wasn't much of a chain of command for us to appeal to. I should throw in that this agency was loosely affiliated with a major hospital system in my area and they were still this bad. I could have always pushed my complaint further, but I was so afraid of them that I stopped. It kind of turned into a "I'll leave you alone if you leave me alone" type of thing. I fear for the next family that LPN does this to.
OverTheEdge, that's *exactly* the point, exactly what makes me grind my teeth with frustration.

Overbearing, nasty-minded little Hitlers like that LPN - I can't think of a polite way to put it, basically people who are right up themselves - they are underpaid and under appreciated, and their response to that is to do the minimum they can possibly get away with and to exercise what little power they do have by bullying others.

But here's the thing. Have a little faith in the ability of an averagely good social worker (there are grim exceptions, but they are not as common as the papers would have you believe) to distinguish between grounds for concern and someone out to make trouble.

Because if the LPN makes what you did, genuinely, perceive as a threat, and your response is "be my guest..."

Well, then it's not really much of a threat, is it.

You say "it's insulting to be accused." It can be, yes. But the accusation has already happened, and it's come from someone who frankly could do with a little extra inspection and supervision herself. What remains is the question "is the accusation justified?"; and to repeat: a question is not an accusation.

You'd have thought, just mulling it over, that APS might do well to engage better with their communities so that people stop thinking of them as the local Stasi and are quicker to seek their help before situations have become crises (or worse).

Then you say you fear for the next family this woman lands on. Well. Not much, you don't, do you? If you really did, you would make a formal complaint. Not a complaint about your fear of being reported to APS. A complaint about unprofessionalism that you witnessed and can substantiate.

APS are there to help, protect and support people. If people don't use them properly, they can't do their job properly; and you can hardly blame them for that.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support