My beloved Mom passed on May 8, at home...

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I saw a video of someone on anguish because his mom didn't remember him. Oh, I've been there. Dementia sucks. As hard as it is on the loved ones just imagine how much harder it is for the person suffering from dementia. Not knowing me at times really didn't bother me as much as the fact that I just wanted her to not be anxious, so I just learned to go with the flow, let her be wherever/whoever she was at that moment, tried to redirect her when she was anxious, and not distress her by trying to make her remember. You can see in their eyes they don't remember, and that has to be terrifying for them. You know that terrible feeling you get when you've "misplaced" something, only to find it in your hand/purse/on top of your head? Just imagine that being your unrelenting reality every moment. And as they say, even if they don't remember you, you still know who they are. Hold onto that and honor it. My Mom didn't always know who I was. But I stayed by her side and tried to make her feel as safe and as loved as I possibly could. I traded roles throughout the day, sometimes I would be her daughter, her mother, her sister, her friend, her nurse, or sometimes just a bad cook who needed to be told so. Other times she would know me, and those moments were great. The 10 years I spent caring for her were such a blessing for me. Yes, difficult in so many ways, on so many different levels. But what I know with certainty is that I am a better person, have learned so much, am stronger, and am so very blessed and honored to be her daughter. Hang in there, caregivers and loved ones...the journey ends all too soon. Then they are free of the torment, pain and confusion. Enjoy them as they are today. Treasure these moments. Rest In Peace, Ma. I will love you forever and will see you again someday.

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Dees, what a lovely post. What a refreshing post. I know caregiving is hard.........the long goodbye as they say. But the way you expressed yourself was beautiful. I felt the same with my dear Mom. She has been gone three years and I still miss her so.
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Sorry for your loss. I lost my mom May 2nd, dementia. You sound so kind and caring. Good job. There’s definetly a place in heaven for you.
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What a loving and caring daughter, you are. I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless you for all the love you bestowed upon your  Dear Mom. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Dear Dees1963,
Thank you for your lovely post. My deepest sympathy to you for the loss of your mom. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I, too, am a daughter who cared for a parent with dementia. It was my dad and it wasn't for nearly as long as you did. I was so blessed that he largely knew me and could call my name until the day he closed his eyes (10 days before he died).

The love you had for your mom came through your words. I pray God's blessings and comfort to you.
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So sorry for your loss. Dementia does "suck", I am dealing with it right now with my husband. I almost lost him, due to poor care at a nursing facility where he was continually losing weight, vomiting, diarrhea, and severe dehydration. I brought him home and have him on hospice and he is flourishing. As a caregiver, it's a hard job, but at the end, I know I will not have any regrets because I did the best I could. All we can hope for is that somehow they feel our love and compassion for them. Peace and love
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What a beautiful sentiment. I lost my mom last June. I, too, felt blessed and honored that I could do what she needed. I hope it's OK, I am going to copy and post to my Facebook. Most people don't truly understand until it happens to them and this says so much. I always tell people that my friend gave me the best advice No matter what they do or say or how hurtful it may to just ignore it. They don't really know what they are saying and they don't mean it.
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Not everyone considers it a blessing when as a caregiver you’re abused verbally & physically every day. Every thing is a struggle....& a fight...taking meds, brushing teeth, getting ready for bed, everything a fight. Chest, stomach & head aches for me every day.
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Dees: You took the words right out of my mouth. That horrible disease took my wife of 69 years.
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Dees1963: I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending deepest condolences.
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So sorry for your loss! I care for my 88 yo mom with joy and delight! She doesn't have Dementia or Alzheimer's yet, but does have quite a bit of memory loss, due to a severe head injury during which she broke her neck. She does know all of her immediate family, but sometimes not others that she has had relationships with. She has long term memory, but cannot remember events of the past twenty years or so. You're an angel from Heaven, for caring for her so lovingly. Bless you!
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