My sister and I made an agreement that we were both going to take turns watching my Mom. My oldest sister was caring for her but 2 years ago she passed away at age 70. Right from the beginning I can see that she was already talking about how difficult it was and how she knew people who put their parents in elderly homes, when my mom is ok if we both take turns every two months. That way we Both give her quality time And we Both get some time for ourselves. Now she does not want to watch, and it is faking an illness that she has been using when needed. I cannot do it on my own, without some time to recuperate. Even if it was just one month. I am at 98 lbs right now. I do not want to abandon my mom but I need help. She does not qualify for some programs because her immigration paper work is not ready yet. My sister did not want to do it because according to her she was 100 years old and she was not not going to last long. I guess she showed her. I feel a lot of pain and very disappointed. My mom is a beautiful mom. We are lucky to have her but everything is turning dark.

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Thank you For sharing your experiences. I believe that a lot of the reasons my sister is doing this is vindictiveness, the 2 months that she care for Mom it was not a blessing to her it was a punishment, caring for Mom is not easy but as long as I can get a little break I can do it. She does not want to watch her any longer but on top of that she is calling other members of the family and criticising how I take care of my Mom.

I wish these sorts of things were not so common. It happened in my case as well? Cared for Mom for four years. Sibs in town, no help, only heartache from their vindictiveness. Mom is now in memory care and I am missing her? But sibs, not a chance!

I'm sorry you are struggling Jenny. Just remember that if you don't look after yourself you will fall ill, and who will look after your mom then? Maybe you and mom both need to go visit sis to "help" her out. Plan on staying a while.

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