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Hi guys good to be back!! hi to all and hope youre all still coping!!

Mum has FIRST appt with a "shrink" this month im now on my knees for more help here how can i make sure he talks to me and not have my mum telling him not to speak to me if i dont get to see him i think ill just crack here.
how has anyone else coped with this.

Mum had a geriatric assessment last month and the "cow" geriatrcian refuses to speak to me as "doctor/patient confidential crap again?

If a parent brings a sick kid to a doc would the doc discuss this with the kid and ask the parent to leave the room NO! why is this situation so different??

Also how do i make sure mum dosnt REFUSE to go?

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Yes he is a psychiatrist for the elderly and this is the first time i will get a chance to talk to someone who knows more about dementia so i dont want any crap from him or my mum.

She dosnt like me going into docs with her and can be quite stubborn even getting her to go has become a nightmare.

You get so fed up with this BS she hasnt seen her GP since last October as she just refuses to go and has been offered 2wks respite so far and willl not go.
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kazza, I think if your mom allows you into the room with her, you will be OK. But if she insists that she doesn't want you there that will be another matter. Are you her healthcare POA? Is she legally competent?

I attended all my husband's medical appointments. I attended my mother's. But they both were OK with that. I hope your mother will be OK with you going along to help her remember what the doctor says.

Is this "shrink" a Psychiatrist? Psychologist? Other kind of therapist?
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Sorry but i am with captain thats complete BS my brothers neighbour is 89 yrs old my neighbour is 92 and as sharp as a tack. So this you get forgetful when youre old is BS. Dementia is on the increase and its based on our crappy diets and lazy lifestyles its going to get worse if we dont watch our carb intake and get moving theres so much research out there as to how this will become the number one killer in the next ten years if we continue to eat bad carbs and new claims are saying that sugar is now linked to dementia i had candida albicans and i cured it by not touching sugar when i ate sugar i have "foggy brain" without the sugar i was with it and could concentrate better am now not looking after myself and have all the old symptoms back.

So there must be a link between sugar bad carbs and brain health if i wasnt so stressed and had a few bob id stay the h*ll away from sugar and i will soon. But google this info its very interesting my mum is sharp as hell when i cut her carbs down maybe even try it for a week and see how clear your thinking becomes.
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my , you must be having a lucid moment dusty . i agree with bout everything you said except " just good old fashioned senility " . in only the last few years its been realized that dementia is brain death and indeed a fatal condition .
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Yeh weve all seen "shrinks" at some stage? ive been there BUT going to see one when you know youre not "crazy" is easy my mum knows shes not right so i just cant imagine how that would feel to think "hey maybe i am crazy" gosh perish the thought. I thought i was crazy at one stage until i realised that its not me the world is full of "a**holes" and im actually quite normal and extremely emotionally intelligent which is not something alot of people have which is the best way to be basically if you think im mad then theres something even more serious wrong with them!!

Heres one.... my brother was feeling very low last week (depression and anxiety) he decided to look online for "HELP and SUPPORT". After half an hour he was cured and realised just how lucky he was as these people were so messed up it mad his problems seem tiny. He said one guy came on and kept telling people he was ugly and after lots of "hugs" youre not ugly youre beautiful type BS he continued he is convinced hes ugly "oh youre just being nice" tell the guy the truth god d*mmit youve got a distorted image of yourself get professional help!! Ok so i didnt see this guy maybe he was ugly in that case then be honest say well actually you are ugly but youre a hell of a guy!!
Anywhoo my brother is feeling much better now and relieved he has emotional intelligence.
Ok im losing it time for some sleep lots of loving care to give tomorrow and who knows maybe some ME TIME! oh i know im so god*mn selfish!!
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Captain just to point out to you that no doctor will actually "write" dementia AS this disease is only confirmed by "autopsy". So to save their A** so to speak its rare they would write it down they say things like "vascular deterioration" OR "brain deterioration" at autopsy dementia is confirmed this is what im told and if you put it to them they will not commit to dementia per say but will treat patient as with this condition! I know crazy stuff but there you go so dont expect this to be written as its a hard thing to ACTUALLY diagnose until final "autopsy" where they can make a certain diagnosis 100 percent. Now theres a mouthful for you, see why mums doc hates me im a right little know it all as i made it my business to get all the facts so he couldnt bamboozle me with medical crap he now shakes when i visit him as he knows i know about this disease than he does and it irritates him i get a right buzz just telling him whats what!!!!!!!
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" neurologist " , kaz . my aunt bought into neurologist .
my mom was having none of it . said theyre just going to tell her shes CRAZY . in one of my weaker moments i told her you ARE f - in crazy ..
she got me back tho . told social counsellor once that she knew she was crazy but i was crazier .
crazy or not , id rather screw with a shrink than eat fried chicken.. i see one regularily ..
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All great advice and funny how we know the system so well!! Yep getting her there is the main problem and Captain thats "genius" i never thought of something so simple i was going to write to him before hand but im done writing and stressed out so that i cant even type on here sometimes my brain sometimes cant even handle pen to paper its like i have "foggy brain" all the time as ive so much to think about my head is shrinking "pardon the pun".

And yes youre so right "shrink" means they are trying to lock me up and take me away from my house! yep my mum has dementia but shes a very intelligent woman. I will not mention the word "shrink" i will tell her hes the one that will get you your new "SCOOTER"!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL yes we too have to be devious and manipulative too!
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if i accompany edna to shrink , i intend to do what i always do -- slip doc a note with the highlights then stay out of the conversation as much as possible so he can talk to the patient . ill answer questions only if i can see she isnt supplying them .. its ednas visit , im the advocate ..
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My mother lives with me.I am the one that makes the MD appts and gets her there and I go in everytime with her. I have to know what the MD says because I am the one that dispenses the care , meds,etc. at home. My mother is on so much pain meds I can't depend on her to tell me what the MD said.I know about HIPPA but so far no one has questioned me coming in with her as she has to use a walker and it is very easy to look at her and see she can't take care of herself.If anyone gives you a problem start being assertive, ask questions, don't take no for an answer. If she is living under your roof ,that puts a lot of responsibility on you and how can you take care of someone if you are not involved with MD visits even psychiatric ones.I would just make it very clear to any MD that if they expect you to care for your mother then you will have to be a participant in visits.
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What if you made your own separate appointment and tell him your side. That way he can put the pieces together...
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a hipaa form is as simple as asking receptionist for it and getting patient to sign it . if patient permits someone to accompany them into visit then medical consent is implied . we, on here come from different states and countries tho , so thats something to consider ..
ive noticed that ednas printout of diagnoses have never listed dementia and her daughter was unaware of it . i could see this specific being witheld from families as long as possible because its a very personal and intimate health matter and the last thing the patient needs is some dull eyed family member telling them they are crazy ..
in my moms case i think family was only told of dementia in the last year of her life because the crazy was going to get real and the facts couldnt be downplayed any longer . sure enough , no sooner than mom got home and was coming to conscienceness , a niece had to blurt out ' dementia ' to her . mom said " oh bull , somebody drag this tugboat out into the front yard " . lol .. well played mom .. ( mom was near genius in iq )
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Kazaa it's SO GOOD to have you back! Write a note to the doctor ahead of time with your comments and concerns about your mom. Then at least he'll know what the truth of the situation is, whether he lets you stay or talk to him afterwards. Sometimes with my mom, I'll tell her we'll go out to eat after going to the doctor. That will get her to look forward to it. Good luck and keep us posted.
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Good advice HP i will give that a shot! it really is so stressful as if getting them to go isnt enough hassle when you finally get them to go you are hoping the doc will agree to speak to you.

Yeh im taking no crap this time im the one caring for her and i have "rights".
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yea kaz , the ' other ' simpsons fan from here . he he
i believe if you do good things , good things will probably come back around . if you sow crap , youre going to surround yourself in crap eventually .
my mom and aunt were my influences growing up . the men were dullards at best ..
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You know, anytime my Mom has had an appointment with any Doctor, I just walk right in there with her and sit my a*s down. Haven't been asked to leave yet...
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Well i hope so! yep mum lies to everyone about me as ive said before they should get an "oscar". A true pro can see beyond this BUT ive met very few true professionals since mums illness and have had more sound advice on this forum than any pro with degrees in bullsh*t!
Captain youre either a great guy OR mad to now care for your aunt but good on you! youre a brave man with a huge heart you deserve alot of happiness to come youre way and i pray for you.
im not religious but i believe in a higher power some good has to come us soon! I know something is helping me cope and its not me being an angel something bigger than me is keeping me from cracking OR im not human maybe im an alien as i havnt cracked yet!
Hugs to you and hope you now remember me! LOL
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aunt edna is shrink bound too . cuz agreed for me to take her . i thought doc might want input from the one who spends the most leisure time with her . glad i read your thread . if he doesnt want input from me at all it may be because hes adept enough to pick what he wants from her head ..
na . i dont believe that . phsyc is gonna need your input kaz , cuz patient will lie like a dog ..
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