Follow
Share

Mum has had the tests for dementia and they say she is ok. She forgets where she is sometimes, can't find her car, repeats things over and over again. Is abusive towards my sister and I and this has been an ongoing thing for a long time. We try and keep calm and give her suggestions but she won't listen and just tells us she knows what she is doing. She forgets her medication, gets depressed and cries on the phone that she is lonely. Then we go and see her and she has these rages. She has had tests for dementia and the counsellors say she is ok, just suffering from post traumatic after the death of her husband 12 months ago.
There doesn't seem to be any way we can reason with her. Another move another upheaval is draining on us and we go through the same scenario each time she moves. Mum is 82. She gets her pension and then spends it and forgets she has accounts to pay.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Depression does not morph into dementia!
(3)
Report

She is looking for happiness and will not find it. At some point, a bank will refuse to give her a mortgage if she has a history of not paying bills. The alcohol will block the effect of the antidepressants and spike the emotional outbursts. You cannot take over as long as the MD's consider her mentally competent. On the other hand you do not have to enable her moving. In fact you might even tell her that moving hasn't made her happy yet and you will not lift a finger to help with a bad decision. You put your foot down. If she rages, you tell her you will not tolerate the abuse and you are leaving. And you go. This kind of behavior even happens in ALF's and Nursing Homes. The patient says they hate their room, their food, the other residents and the help. Helpful children move them repeatedly and they are no happier. Fix the tantrum right where it sits, or you can't fix it at all.
(4)
Report

Thank you for your comments. Her doctor suggested the visit to the Dementia clinic and they are the ones that carried out the tests and said she was probably suffering from post traumatic. But my question is has she been suffering this for more than 15 years, her 2nd husband passed away in 2006 and she moved then met her 3rd husband he died 4 years after she married him. She has been on anti depressants, sleeping tablets and tends to say "I don't need them" and doesn't take them. Her raging has been going on for years. She also has a few drinks at night and then she starts ringing everyone and cries that she is lonely. I understand all that, but she has a very active social life, more than my sister and I. She also plays one off the other, telling my sister one thing and me another. Our family spent many hours/weeks settling her and her 3rd husband into their home, renovating etc and went to court to keep her home from the 3rd husbands children. Its becoming too much for us and as much as the visits and trying to give her love and attention she only returns with abuse. We have tried to give her doctor information and when we tell him what she has been like he tells her that we have contacted him and then she gets angry. We can't seem to find a happy medium.
(0)
Report

I did not know depression could cause dementia. That is something to think about. I fully agree with the other posters, it sounds like it is time to get a better diagnosis. Be it physical or mental issues at play here, it sounds like your Mom has not been properly assessed.

We are going through something similar with my Mom and I posted about it. Someone suggested she talk to her primary care doctor to start, I am going to advocate for that. Maybe that's a good place for you to start too?
(0)
Report

Has she had a MRI or CT Scan?
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.