Two nurses called today and finally say she needs a carer twice a day morning and evening to lift some stress from me. I should be happier but we still have the problem of her alone all night but thats all they can do and that i was to step back and stop worrying and look after my own health?

Ive done everything i can now and she will have a carer in the morning to give her meds and breakfast then another in the evening to give meds and insulin. Its alot better than 3 times a wk and when i leave then at least somone is calling in everyday. Its so hard to swtich off and not worry but its either back off or kill myself? I wonder even if i got my money and had my freedom to walk away will i end up a basket case 3hrs away constantly worrying about her?

The nurse said you have to let her live the way she wants as shes responsible for her own health????? can somebody please tell me how someone whose losing thier mind can be responsible for thier own health???

Im done ive exhausted every avenue got her the best free care i can but whatever i do she will still be here and a danger to herself? Its time for me to give up and let her live in her home alone if thats what she wants.

I dont know if you watched the oscars? none of those actors deserved an award my mum did! Oh my god can she act when asked if she wanted me here she said "well she has her own life to lead????????" i almost fell over with shock THEN the nurse asked her could she let me supervise her meds she said "absolutely not im not an idiot". then the nurse asked her to name her meds and what they were for of course she couldnt?

Anyway if you had seen the act she put on in front of them youd be impressed she always fckin amazes me how she does this?

Im drained tonight and am getting headaches i think the only thing left for me to do is learn to switch off and learn to relax and back off.

I am always amazed that someone who is clearly a danger to herself and losing her mind can be taken with a pinch of salt with these nurses they said if she wants to live in her own home and refuses to help herself theres nothing you can do?

I dont know anymore id have my mum in a NH asap but what do i know.

I need to get grounded now and think well at least when i leave shes getting 7day help with meds if she dosnt co-operate then ive done all i can.

yes no matter what we do guilt is kicking in i just need to be so strong now and keep telling myself that if i stay ill kill myself if i go and she dies alone here in the house ill have to deal with that if and when it happens.

Headaches getting bad like a warning to stop worrying. so easy to say?

Hugs to all and there you go let them live at home as its thier life??

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Thanks Stiegman and youre right she was quite funny today you do have to laugh at them oh a right little "actress".

Anyway the last time the nurse called my mum was in foul mood and so was i we asked her to leave but i knew the nurse was "suggesting" some type of abuse on my part as mum and i had a huge row because i didnt tell her that time the nurse was coming.
Anywhoo i just got a bad feeling by the way the nurse was talking to me so i covered my ass and RAN to mums doc and told him everything.
I tell you i was scared that they were suggesting i was abusing her and i was right by the time i got to the doc this nurse had already telephoned the doc and he said she was "worried" about the atmosphere in the house?
Well i let him have it and told him all the things she was doing re meds etc... so am relieved that mum told nurses she wont let me have her meds so they could see how stubborn she was.
I know its horrible caring your ass off for them then this nurse misinterpreting things very scary and so unfair to us.

I will back off now as im not well at all have constant palpatations and on top of this crap have to get legal help with my dads affairs his girlfriend seems to be deciding without any respect for us about his headstone? i now have to find out all this legal crap.
Gosh why do parents leave us with so much stress to sort out i just hope he made a will?
Again my own doc suggested a holiday? these docs mean well but dont get "no money".

Hows your MIL getting on in NH? i hope shes ok and you are enjoying the peace? You seem very fond of her which is nice you must have got on well which is great shes lucky to have a dIL like you!!

I'm glad there is some relief for you. Let the nurses handle her, if they can bring out her best performance, more power to them! Somehow I think they know she is "showtiming". The consultant who helped me get MIL into ALF said "Back off. Let her fail on her own" So we did. So you should, because the nurses will approach her from another angle, as a peer and not as a child to a parent. They will get her into a NH, but she will think it is her own idea.

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