I know there are many threads of this subject, but I do need help as to what to expect and how to handle going in that door with my mother.
I am setting up her room friday(tomorrow) and doing all the paperwork, social worker things.
But omg that DAY. How does one cross that NH threshold?
What will happen? Do they greet her?
omg please whisk her away before she turns around and runs for me and fights them !
Please, many of you have been through it, hold my hand, I am frightened.
Have found each person has something different to give to others. Look forward to the time away, and when you visit, your burdens will be lighter so you will feel like sharing, then. Rest up.
Of course, this may not work for your particular situation. It depends on the needs of the patient. If you show fear and trepidation, that can make things tense.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/move-easy-for-dad-to-assisted-living-185662.htm (and no, I didn't select this thread because I was one of the posters!)
Here are a lot of articles and hits for the same issue:
When I 'tricked' her into moving into an apartment next door it actually went well, brought all her stuff over while she was at lunch- but that was 6yr ago and she is more ill now.
So, when my Mom was going into an assisted living (AL) it was a move from rehab after hip surgery. I told my Mom that the doctor wanted her to continue to get more practice walking but she didn't need as much care now . (I call this gentle story telling!) My sister drove to the rehab and traveled on the ambulance with my Mom. I was at the AL (and like you the room was all set up) waiting for them to arrive We had done all of the paperwork and the arrival time was shortly before lunch time. We showed Mom her room and wheeled her around to the nearby areas. After lunch was served to the residents, we came in and had lunch together, my sister, mom and me. After lunch we showed her the rest of the place including the outside gardens. Then we brought her to the activity room and they were having refreshments. At this point we got a nod from the activity person and told Mom we would see her the next day (and we did). My Mom was very peaceful throughout her dementia journey, we were blessed. You will be able to visit and spend time and do the extras with your Mom while others do the 'heavy lifitng'. She will be better off and so will you. You can (and should) visit as often as you want to. You might have something to do that day of arrival so you aren't sitting there staring at each other ... a puzzle, deck of cards (can she sort colors in it?) whatever to take the edge off. Good luck, I'll be thinking about you.