Mother's paranoia.
My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. She is 86 with Pulminary Fibrosis and short term memory issues. She is in assited living. Though I am a counselor and realized her narcissism and alcoholism, I never saw her paranoia until it was mentioned to me by a worker in her assisted living. There are two things about that. First, I am angry and saddened because I now see the paranoid personality disorder. And I am also so done with her critical nature, her constant demands, her lack of concern, her nastiness towards others, her cruel words, her lack of gratitude. I have not really talked to her in the past week. I am overwhelmed with paperwork as she no longer does her bills. My garage is filled with her stuff, as she is a hoarder also and I want it out. She is 86 and is demanding to drive though she has short term memory issues and now my husband and I are taking her for a driving test. The years and years and years, stemming back from my childhood...the money I have spent on therapy ( which could have been a down payment for a house in NJ) I could go on and on.. THE BOTTOM LINE.. I am exhausted, my personal health is now at risk, I would prefer to have nothing to do with her, however I am her main caregiver. The sad thing is because of her disorders she does not understand and I am continually at fault..And I know it is going to get worse.
If she's currently in a facility, arrange for it to become long term, on her funds or Medicaid.
This is all very easy for me to say. My mother was sweet and kind. I don't suppose this will be easy to do. Mom was very skilled at installing guilt buttons and she knows how to push them. At least you understand what is going on. I hope that help some!
Do what you can. Don't feel guilty for what's out of your control. You can only do so much.
You did read the part where Ruthroll and her husband is taking her mom for a driver's test, didn't you? She can spend more time with her.