Mother's last stage of breast cancer and Alzheimer's!

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Our mother in last stages of breast cancer(92yr old) but we seem disagree. She still wants to say Mom do you want to do this and that, I feel with my Mom confusion that we can bypass asking and just do. We need get along and not debate/disagree s to not upset Mom. Please help, should I just back off and go with flow or what?


I wrote the above topic. The she I'm referring to is my oldest sister. How can we just nip it in the bud and get along?
Since the whole point seems ridiculous in view of your mom dying, I'm guessing that your sister thinks you are being too bossy and not polite. Ask her to be more specific. Orr, you give us an example.
i think you hit on nail. But I usually have to follow up or she calls me. Last week we suspected Mom being dehydrated, she is calling dr to have checked. She reported back saying Dr wants to put Mom on hospice. After my brother and I spoke today wondering why they just didn't ck Mom for dehydration my brother suggested I call. I called the Dr about two hours ago explaining family undecided on hospice at this time but would like To see if Mom possibly dehydrated. They immediately scheduled appointment for tomorrow. Nurse stated that the call from my sister last was that my sister wanted to put Mom on hospice. It really is ridiculous when I step in I get it done. We are very close, though she is 11 years older and I'm the baby, we are only two that live same city as Mom. I don't want take over, be bossy or any of that. I just want peace! Family is too precious for conflict!
I think you and your siblings need to have a talk and come to an understanding that the squabbling and friction is only hurting your mother.

Agree that if you have different opinions, resolve them before calling the doctor's office or other medical personnel. If they get conflicting orders, they're put in a bind.
True. But we didn't know she said she would call and that is what we thought she did. She said nurse got wrong. But we have appointment and we take Mom together. Pray for us, I guess it's just hard don't know why were bumping heads. I just want it too stop. Just laid my husband to rest in April sometimes I don't know which way is up!
Perhaps you two are "bumping heads" due to the fact that mom is dying. We all grieve this process differently. I hope you two settle this. Bottom line is your mom's needs come first right now. She will know something is amiss and hopefully not worry about you two. Both of you need to find a happy medium so when mom passes, there will be no guilt or hard feelings, just happy memories of mom. I wish you the best! :)
Please think about putting your Mom in hospice care. Her quality of life must be minimal. Hospice is not a death sentence. She will be cared for, her pain controlled and allowed to leave this earth with minimal suffering. This is so very hard. My best wishes to you and your family.

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