I am new to this site but not new to care giving for my 64 year old mother who was diagnosed 15 years ago with ms.
I decided to stay home and help/care for her as my brother left the family years ago. And my dad has done camp work most of his life and now unemployed not his choice.
What i have found through out the years and now getting to the extreme side of things is my mother being extremely negitive and complains about anything and everything. And iam to the point where its been affecting my life i have chronic fatigue sydrome as well as bunch of other problems. If i get out to do shoping she complains as i get to go out but she dosent. If i am able to go away which these days its a weekend out of a year she complains about that. I dont have a life no friends no nothing. As she needs care 24/7 as she is now in a powerchair all the time. And i know she is frusterated cause of that..but to be bitter about anyone who can walk or do things its getting horrible. My dad is no help as he cant take the constint put downs from her saying hes a losser and no good for nothing.. as we now are in finicial problems. And thats another one of her problems as she just wants to buy and buy and buy and now she cant. As figured thats the only control left she had was shopping via internet shopping etc. Not able to take her out very much due to fact we have no money plus she has pretty bad back pain and just cant be in the car for very long.
I really have not a clue how to deal with this...i cant just leave them. As we do live on a small farm and i have horses etc..and my dad is unable or not wanting to help out or her out..its been left apon me to do this.
I have gone to a caregivers group but that has not been too helpfull just due to the fact all they say is hire someone etc but i can not aford such things. I have also seen a shrink and again not much help as no money.
I should say she has lost all her friends and no one visits due to she has nothing good to say..if she talks to her family she gets worse as they have money and they can go on vaction or they can do renos.
She is also very religous but i cant see it as she may pray etc but if she was really to live the faith she wouldent be so negitive or vile.
I am trying to stay positive as best i can saying oh look at such nice weather we are having. Or least we have a roof over our head etc...trying so hard with everything thrown back into my face with a negitive outlook. Now i try to stay away be in the barn take dogs for walks. But even thats hard as she needs help at times during the day so not able to be gone for long cause of that. Iam finding it very hard these days as my health going downhill at a fast rate. And i really dont know what to do anymore. As have no help or money to get help.
If anyone has any ideas at all please let me know.
I do figure one of these days will have to sell the place and iam sure at that time she be living in a place that cares for her...just she smokes and places around here will not take her...as few years back when we had money i sent her to place in town for a week every year. They had told me the last time she is not welcome untill she quits smoking. Sorry for the long post just really needed to vent its been a bad day