Mother wants her jewelry, at assisted living.

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Well, she has been on this kick for 3 weeks. She already had $300.00 stolen that she insisted on having in her purse. She is of sound mind, if you can call it that. So, we can't pass off some fake necklaces as real. She wants a certain jewelry box from her home, which she knows we moved for safe keeping. Have any of you just gave up and given in? I have told her "No." Now, her POA is going to tell her that the facility won't allow her to have expensive stuff there. it is always something.


Does she want them to wear or just for safe keeping? I noticed several of the ladies at my dad's ALF wear jewelry. If she wore the jewelry before moving into AL, she would probably enjoy wearing it still. Maybe you could bring a few of items she wears the most? I suppose it depends on how valuable they are.

My dad keeps a little cash with him and I've never heard of any (intentional) theft at his place. Sometimes people have lost or misplaced their stuff, or someone may accidentally walk off with another persons items. Perhaps we have just been lucky.
When my grandmother went into a NH (not ALF) my Mom'sboss said-"take off erh wedding ring--my Mom's got stolen" -well, my Mom did not listen and , would you believe it, someone stole it right off her finger -still makes my stomach sick!--they had to have cut it off as her knuckles were so swollen. The NH tried to say it must have slipped off-SERIOUSLY!?!- I was furious and wanted to set up a sting operation with a fake wedding ring to replace the one she had and cameras hidden but all we could do was make a report. My grandma had AD and not only did it hurt to lose her ring BUT more importantly it hurt knowing that someone we were entrusting her care with CUT IT OFF HER FINGER!

So I pass the warning along.
And I hope the person who stole it --Oh forget it--they have the worse end of things because they have to live with a thief(themselves) and I don't.
I'm probably a bit naive. Just because we haven't had any issues yet, doesn't mean I shouldn't take precautions.

I did ask my dad for his wedding rings when he moved in. He had his wedding band and his grandfathers wedding band. I told dad how much they meant to me and he decided to let me have them right then. That is probably the most valuable (monetarily and sentimentally) that he had... other than his paintings (he is an artist). But I am hoping if someone tries to steal his paintings, we will catch them on camera as they leave the building.
Unless your mother wants her jewelry stolen, don't do it. My mother-in-law was in an assisted living facility. Her door had a lock and someone would steal stuff all the time. It didn't matter if it was food, bathing stuff, clothing, towels or jewelry. She swore up and down it was the staff, but I found some things in other persons rooms or on their body. Now if your mother is of sound mind and can operate a small safe box, that would be an option. She could keep her jewelry locked up until she wears it as long as she remembers to put it back in there when she's not wearing it (making that her jewelry box). We did this for my mother-in-law with cash, but her Dementia eventually got worse and she eventually forgot the combo numbers. Just a thought. Good luck!!
I a nurse. I worked at 2 assisted living facility's and also snf's I quit both jobs and went back to pediatrics because of constant stealing and getting no where with management. I would not let her have her jewelry. Sorry.
I think it all depends on the level of care your parent is receiving. If your parent is living their because they don't or can't handle the upkeep of their home and have no health issues, then let them have it. But if caregivers are coming into their apartment to assist with daily activities of living (ADL's) or helping with reminders due to early stage dementia, then don't. I have to say, we moved mom to an assisted living community because she has Alzheimer's but is still independent in some ways. The caregiver's have to give her reminders, give her medication, and escort her to and from the memory care unit daily. Because we moved mom quickly, we did not know that in her dresser she had some jewelry specifically she had a wedding ring set from a family member. My also had about $130 cash in her wallet. I discovered all this 2 weeks after we moved mom. I removed it from her dresser and wallet.The point is, it was there 2 weeks and I have seen where the caregivers will not go through mom's personal belongings. She is wearing her wedding set and it is a little big on her but she won't give it me. I told my mom that she was not allowed to have cash so I took her cash and deposited it in her checking account and she accepted it. I did deposit it. However, my husbands grandmother was in a SNH for Alzheimer's, she had a couple different rings on her fingers because my mil could not get them off due to RA. My husband's grandmother was living there about a year when my mil noticed that one of the rings was missing. Mil went daily to feed her mother lunch and visit. An employee of the the SNH actually used a jewelry cutter to cut the ring off my husband's grandmother's finger. My mil submitted a claim with SNH for reimbursement of the cost of ring stolen even though that does not make up for the loss and violation. My mil then had a jeweler come over and cut off the other ring so it would not be stolen too. While the community my mother is in has be respectful of my mother's belongings, I understand that all are not. Yes, take a proactive stance!
My Mother's answer to our saying that they will be stolen is to say "I am going to keep an eye on them." Geez. She is 94.

She doesn't have her jewelry box and I hope that she doesn't keep insisting. Her stuff is perfectly secure at her grandson's. He is 51 YO and is trustworthy.
My mother is in an ALF and I do have all my mother's jewelry with me for safekeeping, with her permission. She has had times where she thinks things are being stolen, even silly things like scissors and lipstick. But they aren't being stolen - - she hides things to thwart those thieves - - and they always show up somewhere in her room!
Sometimes she forgets that I have her jewelry. One day she specifically asked about her pearls, the ones my dad gave her years ago. So the next time I visited her I took her pearls. Now she doesn't know where they are because she hides things in her room and then forgets where she put them! I haven't found them yet either but I'm sure they're in her room somewhere! On one level she understands she's doing this and she said, "It's really bad when you're both paranoid and forgetful!" How funny yet true!
Chicago, No matter what kind of facility your mother is in, it is a very bad idea to leave any money or jewelry with her. If she does not misplace it herself, then sooner or later it will get stolen by either an employee or another patient. The POA is correct. My mother is in a very good NH, but many people go in and out of her room every day, custodians, aides, nurses, repair people, even other patients with sticky fingers (the alzheimers/dementia ones). Mom has 'misplaced?' toiletries, cosmetics, change purses and costume jewelry. Sometimes I can find it and mostly it is really gone. My mother with moderate dementia keeps insisting we leave her money, and it always 'disappears'. There is only one vending machine in the place and I am sure she does not use it every day. Now, if she remembers to ask, the most I give her per week is 5 singles just to keep her happy.
my mother gave a valuable piece of jewelry to one the Aides at her nursing home. Can I get it back?

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