I am so depressed and I feel guilty all the time. I never feel good enough. I have always felt like she didn't want me around. Now that she needs me she never wants me to leave. My sister (being passed away now for 15 years) and her were best of friends, did everything together, they were best friends. It was always assumed that my sister would do the caregiving. I cry for her i love her but I will never despite how hard I try be good eough for her.She refuses to get up and get into the shower. She wants to pan bathe and act as if it's ok. I want to die. I refuse to put her into a nursing home because it would kill her. I couldnt live with myself if I put her away somewhere.