My husband and I are at wits end. My father-in-law passed away in Feb of last year. We have found out the hard way that he was the one to keep both of Mom's feet on the floor and was the one who made the decisions. Mom is 90 and is sound of mind I would say. She pays all her own bills, keeps her checking account balanced and still drives. You would think she was in her 70's. But....her body is wearing out. She has surgery scheduled for a knee replacement. My husband is retired and goes with her to her appointments. He went with her when she talked to the surgeon and scheduled her surgery. The surgeon told her that he would do the knee but reminded her that she was 90 and might not even make it through surgery or might end up in a wheel chair if she couldn't do the PT afterwards. He suggested she not do it. But....she thinks that she's going to fly through this and have both her hips done after that. Not sure how she didn't hear the surgeon say he would not do her hip replacements.
She lives at home and has fallen several times. She doesn't listen to anything said to her and is doing things that we have asked her not do, which has resulted in her falling. And as far as making a decision, she can't do it. One day she's selling her house and renting an apartment, the next she's moving into the same place her sister is, then she's going to buy a small house....it's never ending and we don't know what to do. She lives in a ranch house, but it has a finished basement and she is always going downstairs even though we've asked her not to. I'm afraid that she will fall down the stairs and who knows what might happen.
My husband is an only child. He isn't the type of person to just tell her that she needs to do such and such. He is wanting her to make the decision and she can't do it. I know there are others out there in the same circumstances that we are and would like to hear from them.