Things have gone along pretty well for 3-4 years. I have only occasionally checked in here. Life has been Tolerable. But my mother in law is now 91 and her diabetes is much worse and I cannot be sure, but she may have a touch of dementia - put it is more likely a personality disorder. She is SO NEGATIVE that the air is thick with her misery. I am so tired of hearing her tell me how bad she feels (I am pushing 70 and don't feel so hot either!), and she is forever asking WHY she is still alive and basically being negative about every single thing in life. She never says one thing that could be construed as remotely positive. If the sun shines - it is too bright. Get the picture? I have to practically force by hubby to go in and spend 5 minutes with his mother. Thankfully she can still bathe and toilet herself BUT her bathroom is a germaphobe's worst nightmare!! I do all her cleaning and nearly all her cooking. We try to keep her from cooking anything at all - but she still refuses to warm things up in the micro. She MUST use a pan on the stove. I know there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about this and 'this too shall pass' - somehow - but it has been a long, long time since I felt the need to 'dump' here and I do - with all my heart - appreciate this forum. I still pray for all caregivers. Often, only God appreciates all we endure and do for our loved ones.
I think my mother is beginning to slip. I recognize the holes in her reasoning that my brothers don't seem to always notice. I always like their input when they come to visit, because I like to hear others' perspectives.
I feel kind of defeatist about it all, though, because I've learned from this site how very difficult it is to have elders declared incompetent. And my mother would fight any loss of control, as she is a control freak. I can foresee lots of arguing about things as her reasoning further slips. And I know that there are all sorts of ways to deal with elders, but the truth is that I don't want to do it. I don't want to be that involved with her.
She has EXCELLENT LTC insurance (doesn't qualify yet), but has told me she never wants to use it.