We have had a struggle since my mom returned to her apartment. She had decided I would do everything for her. Taking her on all of her shopping trips, her meds, rearranging all of her closets & storage (after we re-did her apt to use a wheelchair). Her home health nurse has been trying to get her to understand the need to not be reliant on one person especially if your in an independent living apartment. It hasn't been needing someone to do it, it has been a power struggle that she insists "I" must do it.
I was very lucky to get the home health staff and siblings to cooperate on trying to get her past this insistence that I do everything. I can't, between hurting my already damaged back hauling her wheelchair and having to work it isn't going to happen.
So I have been mostly absent for going on 3 weeks. Siblings made sure they were around once a week to help with the closet moving and to make sure she got groceries. She is still refusing to use the apartment van that takes people shopping multiple times a week. Claiming she is unable to physically use it because they don't have a wheelchair lift.
So I talk to her nurse who tells me she is walking with her walker down to get her meals on wheels at the apartment dining room every day. it is a long walk too. At least a downtown chicago city block long. My sister was there and said she saw her do it too. So she can get around well without a wheelchair. Enough to get on and off the van to get to the store scooter to do shopping. Yet she refuses to use the bus and keeps making excuses to not go sign up to use it.
She also has tried to sign up for paratransit but they won't give her an interview for weeks. So she now is using this paratransit delay to try to guilt me into coming and taking her shopping every other day. She doesn't know that everyone else has ratted her out that she can use the walker to get around.
I feel so manipulated and angry. She made me feel horrible for not doing all this stuff for her while we were trying to push her to use the wheelchair less and at least get a back up system of using the van in case I wasn't around. Now I find out she is just lying and manipulating me!
Monday she was calling my phone constantly. I couldn't answer it because I was working. She called my SIL to tell her I wasn't answering my phone, like she wanted her to go track me down. SIL has stopped doing that after she realized it was a game. So there was no emergency, SIL talked to her. Mom will not use her walker in front of me and kept telling me she could barely use it in the apartment. Obviously that is not true based on what 4 different people have witnessed when I am not around.
What do you do when someone is being so dishonest and manipulative?