I just saw a post like this that has now closed answers. I want to say that my mother did the same thing. She did have a real (and serious) stroke in 2011 but began faking them after that; among other things.
Long, ugly, obliterating story short
She destroyed my life and that is NOT hyperbole.
She was mentally ill/narcissistic/bipolar/heck if I know which but all her life she was like this but once she began having real medical issues and especially once us kids had grown into wonderful lives for ourselves she put it on like a broadway show.
It wasn't just faking illness/strokes (which 911 was called and time in hospital then all the doctors i took her to once i moved her 1000 so i could take care of her) they could find nothing new and in fact that she was doing better than she had in years.
She continued to fake to the point even the home health people saw it/her primary care saw it (when she couldn't use her right arm but at the end of the appointment was thisty and used her right arm to open the bottle) ...etc. Oh and it was even worst than that..so much worse
I wound up losing my home, my car, my credit...NEVER have I had to live this way since I was a child and I am 48 years old. Absolutely everything I worked for my entire life (put myself through HS-living on my own-put myself through college and so on)is gone...poof. Within 8 months my credit rating dropped from 780 to 502. She was with me all total about 3 months and that is how much damage was done.
Oh so much more. And I didn't have to diagnose her. I know her and I saw it. It was repeatedly obvious once I had her in my home a month or so...when she began to complain that she wasn't being taken care of (I waited on her hand and foot rarely sleeping and got to bathe maybe a quick shower twice per week while she got baths with expensive soaps and a bath brush...) but I had a home security camera so I began watching it...wow, when I wasn't home she was pulling back big curtains and walking without her cane and "sneaking" ice cream sandwiches though she had just that very day had me take her for an emergency dental check due to excruciating pain "especially when eat cold things"
She told the home health people all sorts of awful untruths which they didn't buy for a second and crushed me. I mean broke my heart into a million pieces. so, I took a stand...finally...asking if she feels safe with me she says "sometimes" and I said "that isn't enough. you deserve to feel safe all the time so i think it is best you not live with me anymore"
It turns out she thought she'd get some fancy apartment near me with others wiating on her hand and foot...constant attention and near no rent as there was such a place less than a block from me. she also thought she'd at least be sent to live with my sister who had wanted nothing to do with the whole situation but lived in mother's hometown...our theory anyway...the thing is she could have gotten me into terrible trouble when all i did was work for her to the point I vomited one morning after days without sleep or a real meal (while she got it all all the tme) and she scoffed, very clearly saying "Serves you right" and walked out to the porch to have the fresh coffee I made for her and chain smoke cigarrettes which also made not just me but my dog very ill. What did serve you right mean?
I am not sure. She didn't deny any of this. All she said was after I said she'd broken my heart (truly about to break down to falling into the floor) she rolled her eyes and said "You broke mine" and walked out to have her cigarrettes and fresh iced tea I'd made her after having a 3 course meal for lunch and fresh bath, fresh clothes...baffling...
her behavior wasn't new but just so amplified that I was and am still struggling with it/the why...why? why?
Anyway, I think it isnt a matter of diagnosing someone but a matter of knowing them and to have test after test and proof after proof...you just know. Sadly we believe they changed-NO-just worse