My wife and I have been caring for my 82 yr old mother for the better part of 5 yrs. She is physically able to do most everything for her self but she won't do anything... Bathing has been an issue since before my wife and I took over the care giving..She would say "I can't smell me" or "I don't stink" or "at my age, who the h*** cares".. even if she goes to the bathroom on herself.. she will just lay there.. She is making herself bedridden..most of the time, if we ask her to get up and go to the bathroom, she will just look at you and not say anything... Eating has become an issue as of late...she will chew but not swallow (sometimes, she will fake swallow) or she will get up and flush her food down the toilet.. this lasts for 3 or 4 days then she will eat a couple of days.. She likes eating from a baby bottle.. We have a respite care giver come in a few times a week, which worked for a couple of weeks, but now that my mother knows the care giver and refuses to do anything.. again... If a new person comes, my mother is all happy to do what she needs to do..like go to the bathroom and shower.... We are not the "put her in a rest home" type... It is our responsibility to take care of her.. but it is real difficult to care for someone who does not care about them self.