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I am my mothers caregiver, she lives with my husband and I. I feel horrible giving her the meds listed above. She has (and I hate saying this) no quality of life. We have to do pretty much everything for her. She can't talk, unless she is talking to the spirit world, she can't tell me when she is in pain. She does say OU if I move her. She is so stiff, has a catheter, can't feed herself, can't turn, can't hold a cup, can't tell me when she's hungry or thirsty, can't use the bathroom (if you now what I mean). It's horrible! Hospice has told me to give her Ativan, and morphine together. I have not yet. I don't know if I truly have a question or just glad I have found a place I can connect with. I pray for God to take her home because she is just miserable. Please give me comments... Thank you!!!

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My father passed from end stage dementia (diagnosed only two weeks prior.) When he became unable to communicate, the CLC staff monitored blood pressure, heart rate, in addition to other physical signs - grimacing, moaning, constant movement etc for indication of pain and discomfort.

He had haladol and morphine his last four days, and passed peacefully and painlessly.

I was fortunate in that I didn’t have to adminster them to him. I know it would have been difficult just from the standpoint of correct doseage. If possible, hire someone specifically to do that. Maybe hospice could reevalute her and send someone to help.
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My cousin just passed from metastatic cancer. She had those drugs and she passed peacefully and pain free as she wished.
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Please give her the drugs, she is in pain and calling out as best she can for relief. The morphine and Ativan are used for pain relief and anxiety. Dying can hurt!

This is called the "Hospice Cocktail" for lack of a better term. It is designed to help the patient die in peace and out of pain. It's HUMANE!!

Out of love and compassion for your mother, please don't withhold these drugs.

I KNOW it's so hard to see a loved one in pain. So hard to watch them slowly die. This will not hasten her passing, just make it more comfortable for her, and actually, for you.

If you are too scared of giving her the meds, have someone else do it. I routinely gave my daddy his morphine and Ativan. Mother felt too guilty, I didn't. He wanted to go, and blessedly went in his sleep, at peace.

I know this is hard. We're here for you.
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