I'm an only child and a physician. My mom and dad live 4 hours away. My mom is in her fifth year diagnosed w/ vascular dementia. My dad is cognitively okay but multiple medical problems including heart and respiratory failure and a chronic leukemia that's getting worse. I took both my parents cars away over the past years- my dad has chronic narcolepsy and feared him falling asleep while driving. They lived in a independent apt. w/ private aides who were not nurses but very caring people, until one of them was arrested for forging checks from another elderly client. I had to go to their apt and review all their finances to make sure they weren't victims also. It was traumatic as they trusted this person and she was like a family member. The past few months, things have fallen apart. My mom fell for the 5oth time and broke her hip. she had surgery which took a month for her to get back to cognitive baseline, and had to go to nursing home for rehab. After 2 months, she could walk 10 steps. In the third month, my dad, partly from medical decompensation and I truly believe partly from stress of being separated from my mom, went into total heart failure and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. (Who is ever admitted for 2 weeks these days?!) I arranged him to go to rehab at her same facility which is excellent. Very caring staff and therapists, very clean and private rooms, nice facilities. Of course they hate it. My dad is angry over his loss of independence and takes it out on the caregivers at the nursing home. My telling him that you attract more flies with honey than vinegar, is lost. Now my mom exhausted her 100 days of medicare stay so they are paying for her to stay there because she can't go home alone and really she can't go home at all even w/ him at home..I contacted their bldg adminstrator and think I should call her again and say that if she wants to forbid them from the bldg so be it...I don't know what to do..my dad says they want his money and will never turn him away and it maybe true...(and also mom broke her other hip on a fall at the nursing home...thankfully nonsurgical.) The very wise geriatric family dr. who cares for them at the nursing home says there is no safe environment for them period...my dad also fell there because he said he had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW and no one came when he pushed the button so he went on his own and fell and cut his leg but luckily no fracture this time. My dad plans to go home and have private aides come supposedly 24 hours per day but I know that will last a week and he'll say he doesn't need them. Then he wants to bring my mom home, who can't remember for 10 seconds an instruction to stay seated, I will help you get up. Her hearing is awful and he yells at her for not having her hearing aids in and then he calls me upset that she won't listen to him. On my part...I am constantly interrupted trying to care for patients by their phone calls, I have taken off and rescheduled many patients to go intervene with various crises. I feel sorry after reading many of the posts here. I can still work but it's been a major interference. As for my own family, I have missed many of my kids sporting events etc. because of caring for my parents. I realize my story is not the most awful on here but appreciate the chance to vent. My parents raised me and were very good parents, and I feel it's my duty to assure they are cared for, but I honestly hope and pray I am not a burden like this to my children. My wife and I did buy long-term care insurance for ourselves last year, I hope we can continue to afford it. The moral of this story for those of you on this site is that if you think you have money, it's all easier...it's really not great because my dad could pay for both my parents to stay in full care for a lot of years but it doesnn't matter, they hate it and want to go back to their old life. Money doesn't buy you health or happiness. I feel badly for those of you that have had to give up your jobs. God Bless you and hope you get your reward for doing the right thing.