Follow
Share

Thank God that my Mom doesn't have any. She has a very rich son that supports her. Her home is in his name. His HOUSE, our home.He bought it for her and has been paying all her bills for many years. She always says she is happy she has nothing to fight over.

My Fathers wealthy aunt passed SIX years ago (on her 99th birthday) and my sister has caused SO much DRAMA and hard feelings over it for all this time. ( Its still is in litigation)

I don't get it. Take what you are given. It's MONEY! Is it worth more than the respect of your mother and siblings? I had lived out of state for over 30 yrs when her will was made. I THANK GOD she forgot me.

The last time I saw her I was in my forties and looking every day of them. I walked up to her after having not seen her in at least 25 yrs and she said " Boni! You are still so PRETTY!"

THAT was worth way more than a million dollars, any day.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
No sleep at all J, but i'm feeling ok. The only issue I'm worried about ,right now, are my eyes getting stuck from rolling them so much. LOL!

How is Mom? UTI better? I was concerned when you didn't pop on yesterday. luv you too!
(1)
Report

Wow. Sorry I missed your vent Bon !! Did you get some sleep?

It would be lovely to have siblings that are kind and helpful. Those that aren't need to just stay as far away as possible so not to cause any more stress/problems than you have on your hands already. I think they just like drama no matter what. Your brother sounds awesome and bless him for being so generous to mom and you! That is what real family should be like. Not just finances either, I mean the support!!

Let us know how you are doing today :)

luv ya gf !
(1)
Report

It's coffee liquor and not very strong. Would rather the Valium......or a joint. Just making due tonight. It's extra hard taking care of Mom with no sleep.
(0)
Report

i dont know what kahlua is but it sounds about 178 proof too weak for my likin ..
(0)
Report

it might take a little practice boni but i have a cuz and two kids of hers who will probably never give me any crap ever again cause it just didnt work . it goes like this;
charles ; bla bla -- a*****e -- bla bla , break your legs , etc .
me ; YaAAWWN ..
(1)
Report

Screw it. Cracked open the Kahlua and put in in warm milk. Delicious.....I hope it helps me sleep.
(0)
Report

True, but easier said than done Bob. Here I am ,1 am, tried to sleep but couldn't stop hearing her nasty words. So back up, smoking cigs and on the computer. I am out of Valium and have a feeling it's gonna be a long night. I wish I drank, lol. The only thing I have in the house that I like is Kahlua, but the caffeine probably negates the alcohol effects.
(0)
Report

a pretty wise hospice counsellor ( fk spell check ) told me that the death of an elder either brings sibs together or splits the family further . my sisters and i seemed to have dropped the old sibling rivalrys when mom died but it isnt like were great friends or anything . if you could just remember to not let a troublemaker / gossip get under your skin , boni , youd win a thousand times over . cuz and both of her sons have really cut loose on me a couple times in the last year . i tell them its ok , tensions just run high at such an emotional time as and elder failing and dying . they aint sure whether to love me or hate me but one things for certain -- theyve found a family member who doesnt exite easily ..
" meh "
thats isnt just brit slang , its an attitude that can keep ya calm thru about anything ..
(2)
Report

Money is not the root of evil, envy is.
Sounds like bro has used his money in a kind and loving way. Beautiful example.
As for your sister, envy and karma are b---s and they always get you.
You are a kind and loving person and have a good brother, focus on that.
(2)
Report

No, it's her. She is the common denominator in any and all the family drama. The others all see it, and suffer for it too. We stick together and support each other and when Momma is gone....so is she. We are just not wishing for Mom to die soon, like she is.
(1)
Report

BoniChak, is it mental health issues or just different personalities conflicting?
(0)
Report

Thanks for all the support. I know a lot of us have sibling issues, which cause stress for the people we care for, as well as ourselves. It's nice to have a place to flush it away.
With that being said, there are a lot of much bigger problems on this board so you ladies ( and Bob) with all the wisdom who know just what to say to lighten the load.....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! I don't have the wisdom, but I will try to make y'all feel supported and hopefully make you laugh once in a while. Love you guys.
(1)
Report

Boni, you may be entirely correct that your sister has mental health issues. Is there anything you could do to intervene and to help her? It doesn't sound like that is the kind of relationship you have. If there is any way you could help her, I hope you will. If not, at least protect yourself, by detaching as much as possible.

So sorry you are experiencing this.
(1)
Report

Best to keep all communications with sis very neutral and limited. Don't say anything that would make sis decide to stick her nose in. I think you have a wonderful brother! He doesn't have to support his Grown Up siblings. He could have just said that his obligation is for mom only. But he didn't.

Boni, it's not only money that causes greed. Even the parent's house/land can cause greed.
(1)
Report

BoniChak, what is great is that you knew that your brother had worked his butt off to have his financial success. And you were never the green eyed monster, thus he is happy to help out. That is so wonderful of him :)

My significant other is like your brother, worked hard all his life, and is now living comfortably. But his daughter thinks he is her personal ATM, and that he has to share his money with her. In fact she told me that it is the parent's responsibly to financial help out their children. Say what? Think not.
(1)
Report

I wonder if she was "joking" when she used to say " I can't wait till Moms dead, then I wont have to deal with 'brother' anymore" Or "When I was caring for Mom (not live in, very part time) I used to hope she would fall and wind up in the hospital, so I can get a break from her."

None of us want mediation. We just want here to leave us, the hell, alone.
I am really starting to think she has severe mental issues.
(0)
Report

Ooo, Boni, eeeeeuuuwwww. Your sister used to say that? I expect she thought at the time that she was 'joking.' But apparently not, then…

Horrible atmosphere all this creates, toxic for your poor mother. Any chance of mediation???
(1)
Report

My sister has been jealous of my brothers money since his first million.
He has been so generous to all of us, through the years. No we don't have multiple vacation homes, range rovers, Ferraris or yachts like he does but we have unlimited access, if we are so inclined.. If we ever really needed something , all we would need to do is ask.
He did NOT win the lottery, he worked his BUTT off for it all. Not to mention, if it was not for him MOM would be destitute and the rest of us would have to help her financially.
We, me and both brothers, have a lot of other issues with this sister. Almost all of them boil down to jealousy of one thing or another.

Sorry to droll on about a trivial thing, but its about the unnecessary stress for Me and Mom. We have enough on our plate.

PLEASE don't take this as bragging, in ANY way! I personally don't have a pot to piss in. I am proud of him and appreciate what he does for me and Mom, but NO amount of money can make Mom whole again. A trillion dollars can't keep her alive longer.



I should have gone to the whine forum, but i thought this was going to be a quick vent. Obviously I am allowing her to get to me and I'm going to stop that right now!

Again, thanks for listening.
(1)
Report

BoniChak, your sister sounded like my Mom's sister who wasn't a happy camper when my grandparents' Will was read. Mom's sister didn't like the idea that the grandchildren got the bulk of the estate, so she threw a wrench into the distribution... got a lawyer... then another lawyer.... and another one, and finally a few years later the estate was distributed. Aunt didn't get one penny more than what she was given via Will... but she had a lot of attorney fees to pay :P
(3)
Report

Darn it Pam! Now I can't get that song out of my head!
Thanks for listening ladies. I needed a vent.
(2)
Report

Sister used to stop in and check on aunt once a month for years. I guess as a care giver I resent that she called the visits her "Retirement fund". Never had a nice word to say about aunt....or brother....or me....or mom....the list is as long as our family tree.
(0)
Report

She is not legally fighting. My brother was aunts lawyer. A friend of his did the will. She says they defrauded her out of the the Apt Bldg that aunt promised her. She just whispers it behind brothers back. Mom slipped (verbally) the other day and brother called her to the carpet.
It's a really long story, but I am so over the drama that stresses Mom so much. I am the one that has to handle Mom. These are her last years. She really doesn't need this s***.
I'm starting to think sister is suffering some mental illness. She lies, manipulates and tries to put wedges between the rest of us so we don't compare notes.
(0)
Report

Is your sister in court to get more than her fair share?

I'm with you, Boni. I never had much money so it's never really been an issue but here and there over the last year or so since my dad died we've had some pretty hefty tax refunds for him and my brother and I just split it 50/50. No muss, no fuss.

I guess if there's a lot of money involved it's different, greed could rear its ugly head, but fighting over who gets what and why seems like such a waste of time to me. I can't imagine my brother and I doing that but they say money changes people so who knows? Any money that comes my way that I didn't count on is a blessing.
(3)
Report

Start humming "I got plenty of nothin' " whenever the topic comes up.
(1)
Report

I'm sorry, but I'm having a real bad day over this. She has been making Mom (and ALL of us) miserable for many years with all the drama and fighting. It wears me down some days.
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.