Have taken my husband in three times in the last three months because of suspected UTI-always on weekends, so I have to go to Urgent care and wait 3-8 hours to get seen, then he can't provide a urine sanmple, so back home until he does, then back to find out nothing is wrong except this insidious disease. They won't give me a sterile cup to take home in order to avoid double trips. The overall cost here? Nearly $500 which we do not have. Plus chest X-ray because he sounded a little wheezy. He has smoked for 68 years and I am told that at age 83 it is not a battle I need to fight, so I monitor his outside smoking as I find burn holes in our patio cushions. He also waits until I try to lie down during the day, then lights up in the living room-you guessed it-burn hole in the sofa. The drifting smoke waking me out of a restless light nap. The aggression is nonstop as I fail dismally to be able to redirect him, ignore his delusions and in the midst of it, try to protect our dog who has a heart murmur and cat with a urinary problem. Both are on special prescription pet foods, but every single meal my husband feeds them foods that can be harmful. I have tried so hard to gently explain why they must eat only what is in their own dishes, but he just cannot understand. These two animals are just about my only joy and I know he loves them too, but if this results in additional vet bills I don't know what we will do. Dog has petcare, but cat does not and dog's plan would not at all cover any of this. Golly I know this is wandering from subject to subject and I am so sorry but I am losing it. I do have a senior peer counselor coming in this week. I hope that this can help, but you know what, other than a time for venting frustration and sorrow, that does not seem possible. If anyone can really give me guidance on anything I have mentioned, I would be so grateful!

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Really, it's not uncommon in men. And, men are likely to die from it.
Mom had a UTI Oct 2016. The first antibiotic didn't work so they started her on a second that did. They catherized her to get all the urine out of her bladder. The elderly have problems voiding completely. Men because of the prostrate. Besides the antibiotic Mom was given she was given a probiotic because antibiotics cause yeast infections. She was started on a cranberry capsil. Both continued in the home. She passed in September so almost a year without another UTI.

Don't you have Medicare? Are the copayments that high for Urgent Care? Wow!

With all due respect, it sounds like you've come to the point where you are no longer ABLE to assist your husband 24/7. He is a cigarette away from a house fire. He needs constant supervision. You need to get some rest.

Have you checked into applying for Medicaid (MediCal in Cailf.) so they could pay for an Assisted Living facility? Please don't let your health suffer on his behalf. There are caregivers who die in the act of service to their loved ones. Don't become a statistic. Consider placement for his safety and yours. How horrible if there was a catastrophe and you and your pets were affected.

It's uncommon for men to have UTI's. It's much more common in elderly women.
Encourage liquids, especially water, if he'll drink it. Also cranberry juice is good for acidifying the urine.

Why doesn't insurance cover the tests and x-rays?

Most of us whose spouses have dementia want to keep them home as long as humanly possible. I wonder if you have hit the "impossible" mark. Would it be better for both of you if his basic caregiving needs were met in a professional setting, and you could visit as the loving wife? This is not a disgrace, and sometimes it really is the best solution.

Meanwhile, keep the pets in another room while your husband is eating.

Wait until Monday to see his regular doctor (if insurance covers that better) when he has symptoms that could be UTI over the weekend.

Keep the cigarettes locked up, and cheerfully give him one when is going out to smoke. Give him another when he is finished, if he wants, but watch him light up -- no stockpiling smokes to sneak later in the house.

1. Get a supply of home test strips.

2. "Explaining" to a dementia is not usually helpful. Is he being seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?

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