Mom’s suffering is finally over...

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Mom had several bad falls, multiple broken bones and was suffering horribly. We started hospice yesterday. AL called me, she was actively dying this am. I jumped in the car, drove all day but she died 30 minutes before I got there.

My BIL and nephews were with her and dad. It was peaceful. Dad kissed her goodbye and cried a bit but the boys and staff got him to the lobby by the time I got there. By then he was happily telling his fishing stories.

I’ve hardly processed it all yet. I’m so relieved that she did not spend months suffering from all her injuries.

My thanks to all the good folks on this forum. I’ve learned so much and gotten such great support through the years.

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Thank you Stacey b. Good to hear from you. Hope you’re well. I’m doing pretty good. Lots of lawyering and papers right now.
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Windy, Hey Buddy, I've been away from the forum lately, getting on with life since my FIL passed away last Fall, and only just heard that your own Mom has passed away.

Please know how sorry I am for your loss, and know that I am thinking of you! It's been such a long and winding road for us both, but time has a way of taking care of us all, whether it is in loss, or just us stepping up and dealing with things as they come at us.

I hope your Dad is doing alright, and that his Dementia is a story of blessing in disguise, so that he transitions easier, in his life now without her. You are a Fantastic Son, a Super Hero in my book, in the care of your folks these last few years!

I know you loved and cared for your Mom, very much, and will miss her greatly. You remember to take care of you! Again Love, So sorry! Stacey B
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So sorry Windyridge (((hugs))), what a unique, caring, loving son you were to your mom and still are to your dad!
You have a big beautiful heart! Pictured you looking back at your dad...I know that feeling. Sending you peace and comfort Windy.
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Very sorry. I suppose all of us here can really empathize as we either have been through this or may be going through it in the not to distant future. Sounds like you were a real hero in being there for her until the end.
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I'm so sorry for your loss Windy. Your mom is at peace.
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Windyridge; and sorry that you both weren't given the time for a proper farewell. Not about guilt for not being there, but it would have been nice to have a peaceful moment...

We get what we're given. You're taking a very sensible and practical view, as ever.

I hope you'll be able to arrange a smooth transition for your father. I really feel for you on how poignant his semi-disconnect is. Obviously you don't want him to be shattered, but it is tragic in a different way that he's lost the thread of his own life story.

Look after yourself - I'm glad you have family there to rally round you.
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Windy, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We've talked often about your parents and their situation. Hugs and blessings to you and your family.
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Oh Windy My Man,
I have been following your journey. May you be able to have Grace and Peace in the coming days. I know you will still be there for your Dad. I'm sorry to hear about your Mama.
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Windy, the difficulty of watching our parents suffer and "breaking our hearts" is I think one of the hardest aspects to caregiving. It's emotionally painful and sometimes traumatic to have to witness the ordeals that challenge them. And in many cases, there's nothing we can do about it.

I think seeing them emaciated and weak is just heartbreaking.

That's very sweet and touching to put fresh flowers on her grave.
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Thanks again to all you folks. It’s nice to hear from you. And Mince, I had not read about your loss here or forgot about a post as I was so busy with my folks. My condolences to you. And our forum friend Garden Artist just lost her dad. Seems to be a lot going on right now.

I put fresh flowers on mom’s grave today and also on my brothers and sisters graves which are right beside her. She used to work as a florist. She would have liked the fresh stuff as opposed to fake plastic flowers.

Dad is doing ok. The sitter is great with him. Fewer memories of mom are bubbling up now. That’s good. He played bingo yesterday. I watched from the lobby. Broke my heart.
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