Mom's stubbornness is confounding to me...

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So she's in her second week of rehab. Every time I visit she just wants to "lie down". Plus she has a completely unbelievable fear of falling, I mean she's comfortably in bed and gripping the railings like she's on a boat being tossed at sea. She says there's no vertigo or dizziness there either. Today I merely tried to raise the bed a little so she could eat properly and see me and she starts carrying on like it's the worst torture imaginable.

So I was talking to the therapist and she tells me that on Friday they had to change the mattress so there was no other option but to get her in the wheelchair for a while. This has been a goal since day one. She tells me that after a brief struggle she did get in the chair and remained there for a few hours with no issues. I was astonished as Mom never mentioned it.

So today I'm there and we figure let's go for it again. They sit her up and immediately the death grip begins. This little old lady who's always too weak to move was fighting off three people and resisting with everything she had. There was no risk whatsoever of falling. Eventually the therapist had to give up and i could see the annoyance there, as I felt it too.

I'm wondering if maybe it's me. When I'm there she never stops with the hapless routine and the fear of falling, then I hear that while I wasn't she's actually doing something. Perhaps i should skip a few days and see if it helps?

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I'm so glad you're hanging in there with your mom. Thanks for the update and good luck on getting some respite.
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Dman, so glad to see you! Have you applied for Medicaid yet?
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Good to hear from you and get an update.

I'm glad Melatonin is working for your mother; my understanding is that it's relatively safe, so said my sister who was a nurse. I used to take it occasionally and found there were no aftereffects, which was really nice.

I'd be interested in hearing more about your efforts with the county; I hadn't even thought of contacting ours for respite help, although I can't say that I really need it since I'm not a live-in caregiver. But I wouldn't mind help with some of the chores; the driving all around gets to me.

Whatever happened to that massive bill the rehab center dropped on you like a ton of bricks? Were you able to work out something more reasonable, and on a more reasonable time scale?
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Hello all, it's been a while, busy busy busy. Things are going reasonably well with Mom, her overall health is good right now. I think the reality of not being able to walk anymore has set in, her mind is way ahead of what her body can do. She wants to go from 0 to 100 and start using the bathroom, cooking and that stuff but she still refuses my attempts at PT. A few times she's tried to get out of bed on her own and once she actually fell, luckily no injuries but I had to install railings all the way along the bedsides to prevent this. And she doesn't like them at all LOL but I don't have another option.

It gets stressful sometimes (especially during the winter months), right now she doesn't have the funds to pay for any kind of help so it's almost all on me. The grandaughters are still pretty much useless, in fact they haven't been by since Christmas Day. The bills keep coming too, right now I'm (still) going at it re: her last rehab bill which IMO was an outrage esp. considering the lousy care they provided.

Her doctor recommended melatonin to help her sleep and so far it seems to be helping. That's probably one of my biggest concerns, as when she doesn't sleep she gets positively goofy, asking strange questions and generally being confused all day.

Right now I'm navigating with the county re: respite care for a few days or so, as I really could use a break from the routine. It's a grind but I'm holding up pretty well thus far, but man, would a nice long weekend be a blessing right now.
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We have good days and bad ones, but all in all no major health woes so that's always best. Mom is still not too interested in any useful PT although lately she's been trying a bit harder to do little things for herself, which is nice. We're both pleased with the visiting physician too.
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dmanbro, it is so good to hear from you again. Have a merry Christmas! They can be particularly precious for us caregiver folks.
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Dman, it's so good to hear that things have settled down a bit! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
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I'm so happy to hear things have settled into some kind of "normal" for you and your mom. Merry Christmas to you both!!
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Hello everyone, hope your holiday season is a good one! Things have been going fairly well on my end. it's not without its challenges but all in all everything's been about as well as can be expected. Mom is feeling pretty good, no major or new issues. I haven't made much headway with the bills, although I'm working on it. Just taking it one step at a time. Hope everyone else is well, have a merry Christmas all!
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I have to tell you, I would not be jumping through hoops to pay medical bills at this point. I'm hoping one of our legal folks jumps in here, but it seems to me that if your mom is in the "spend down to Medicaid" process, the last thing you want to be paying is dubious medical bills.

Medicare is at times notoriously slow at paying, so my SIL, who handles my mom's money generally calls and says " we're waiting for Medicare to catch up". That goes for the hospital and ambulance .

The rehab is trickier. Didn't the rehab fail to realize she had a fractured spine, causing her NOT able to do PT? I would be inclined to play hardball with them. File a complaint with the ombudsman and the joint commission.
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