My moms showing sign of diminished mental capacity and now her husband admitted to stealing millions of dollars from her, but she seems unfazed.
I am her daughter and I have suspected for years that my mom's husband has been stealing money from her. My mom received a large divorce settlement with a huge monthly income from properties she and my father own together. She has slowly given her husband control over her finances and in the past years she has not had any idea or even noticed that her money was being used inappropriately. I have lots of evidence that I have shown my mom and she always has a answer when she asks her husband about it. But last week he approached my brother with my mother standing right there and said "I think you need to turn myself into the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Dept. My brother asked "what for??" And he said "I've committed financial abuse crimes." So my brother asked him again with my mom right there...."so everything my sister said was true??" He said "yes, and probably more." On a side note, her husband took the office computer, the only one in the house and my mother NEVER uses it, to this sleazy attorney who has been friends with my mother's husband for at least 40 years. play a significant role in creating documents for mom to sign so her husband can get whatever he wants at that time. This lawyer claims he represents both my mom and her husband but I think this guy is up to his eyeballs in colluding with mom's husband. I have emails going back and forth between them that states how they are going to get my mom to purchase some raw land and then also get her to take on the entire down payment and a promissory note and personally guarantee it. This attorney has had meetings with my mom alone even after she got separate legal council. HE never notified or got permission from mom's attorney. He simply said to my mom that he' like to meet with her alone. But keeping her personal computer is unbelievable and makes this attorney look really bad.
So mom and my brother were trying figure this entire chaotic thing out in a number of minutes. But all of a sudden her husband changed his tune and said he needed to go to a hospital with a psych ward and check himself in. Of course, my brother and my mother drove him there and checked him in. He stays there right now.
The sticking point is that she won't file any charges against him. In fact, I had the Santa Barbara Deputy make a house call and talk to her. The Deputy was really a making. He drove right over there and spoke with my mother for almost a half an hour. Unfortunately he caught her early in the morning and that's her most lucid time. But she refused to sign the police report and pursue any further charges against her husband. The Deputy then told me and I'll never forget it, "you have a victim who won't admit she's a victim." So we are at another loss.
Earlier I brought up the fact that my mom's mental abilities are the best earlier in the day. When it's start to get to be around noon she slowly starts to fade. Then at 3 exactly she and her husband have happy hour. My mother is on a lot of medications and then mixes them with booze. This is an extremely dire situation and I can't get a compete list of her meds but even the ones I have are dangerous with alcohol. When she's in that condition she has no idea where she is, who's she with, etc. The she stumbles to her bed at 6 pm and tomorrow is another day of the same thing.
I think the worst of everything is that her husband has been telling my mom for years that I am the problem. I'm always stirring up trouble for him because I never liked him in the first place. (he's right on that) He's telling her that I'm an alcoholic and can't keep straight. There is NO evidence that shows he's done anything wrong at all. It always ends in spite of the evidence, that she loves him and doesn't want to be alone. He wins...again.
But now that he has admitted to stealing from her we all thought this would be the impetus for mom to get away from this guy. We were so optimistic. But each day she justifies and minimizes her husband's behavior. In fact, as soon as he is released she wants to bring him back home. My brother, my sis and i were completely floored. My mother also has 5 siblings and her three sisters have been actively involved in this backing me up and trying to talk mom into getting some independent legal advisor and protect herself now and in the future. This is imperative. The only other option I can think of is an involuntary conservatorship and I don't really want to go dawn that road....yet.
I'm also worried the he could have implicate my mom in some of his schemes. We found out he bought a boat with my mom's money but put it in her daughter's name. I intercepted emails where he is requesting Borrower's applications (Under my mom's name and through her email address.) I called the lenders and told them that it isn't my mom they are communicating with!!! They immediately put a halt on the loan. it happened a couple of other times with different lenders and I stopped it.