My Mom's room mate died last Tuesday.


Since my mother moved into her retirement home she has had 3 roommates. Her first one was not a good match, my mother kept the curtain drawn between them, her second one was a retired executive that was losing her mind to dementia and was dangerous. Where do they move the loud and dangerous patients? and her third room mate was wonderful. My mother and her 3rd roommate were close like sisters. They watched Shirley Temple movies at night, talked into the wee hours, and did activities together. The women were only a year apart in age so had many things in common. I'm worried about my mothers health now and how grieving her roommate will affect her health.. I just pray the staff will give her extra attention because this will be hard for her. My mother's roommate was a wonderful woman. My family always included her in all celebrations and we even gave her an early birthday party since we would not be in town. She was a huge loss for all of us.

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I cant imagine when "our time comes" what it must be like to start losing friends already im feeling old as my generation are starting to lose thier parents but it must be so upsetting for anyone at this age as it really brings it home that its coming. Im so glad your mum made a good friend thats huge and look now shes even bonding with another!!! god works in mysterious ways just be happy that these women made each others lives happy under very sad circumstances i think thats a lovely story i smile thinking of them watching shirley temple movies together thats a great memory to hold onto! I dont find this is sad i think its wonderful that they had each other!

LisaRose, My deepest sympathy for your mother's death. I know you are going to miss her. My mother told me today how much she misses her roommate but they gave her another woman that she seems to like. This new roommate has a beautiful voice and can really sing! I know it will not take the place of Elizabeth but it helps since my mom does not want to sleep alone in a room. The staff gave my mother a sleep shirt that was Elizabeth's. There has been no news about Elizabeth's funeral, I think the family may have just cremated her. LisaRose, I like your idea about taping the memorial service, when the time comes I will do that for my mother's friends at the home.
I feel so sorry for you LisaRose to go through the death of your mother. It has to be very hard, I know someday I will face it and it makes me sad just thinking about it. My mother use to be a big handful but she has mellowed very nice and I am enjoying her. I say nice compared to how she was in the past, she has been a very difficult person to be around so I do cut my siblings slack for not coming around..So sad that my siblings are not able to enjoy my mother acting nice, I think they just don't believe it. :) Best wishes that your grief journey with your mother's death is not too rocky and if you believe in the afterlife, I hope your mother's spirit will visit you and give you relief from her passing.

Bless you and your mom. My mother passed away on May 30th and her room mate is my best friend's mother, so prior to her passing we would go together to see them both often.
I just wanted to offer that as I have been cleaning out my mother's room, I have not left her friend Lois out. It seems that the assisted living places often want to shield the other residents so as not to scare or upset them but I found that in our case Lois wanted very much to be a part of her friend (my moms) farewell. We made sure Lois got to go to the Memorial Service and we have also made sure that she has a few of my mothers items for keepsakes. We have let her help pack and most importantly -let her express her thoughts and feelings. We have shared lots of hugs and memories over the past week. Instead of being on the outside, Lois has been involved and I think that has helped her a lot.
I am extremely sorry for your loss. Your mother's friend sounds wonderful.
On an added note - my mother's memorial service was recorded. The Asst. Lvng home asked for a copy to show to the residents that had asked about her and/or could not go to the service. They will be showing it for those who would like to attend in the near future. :)

I am sorry for your loss. It must be hard as we age to lose dear ones.

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