I had a few hours off work today so I went to moms house to get the mail, life insurance checks from daddy just passing, so I went to the bank to deposit them. This put me behind since it is traveling from PA to Maryland back to PA. I normally get to mom after work and stay til 6-6:30. I didn't make it today, told myself I would go tomorrow. I knew it would make mom happy that I had checked on the house and done banking for her. I have no cell service for most of the trip, but texts get thru, my daughter text that the nursing home was trying to get ahold of me. In the back of my mind I knew....but I am the queen of denial. Once I had service I called, mom passed. If I had stayed at work and done my normal day, I would have been with her. I wanted to be, I think we all do. But our loved ones determine when. I gathered up my children and we went to be with mom for the rest of the evening. I would still be there holding her hand and talking to her but I couldn't do that to the kids. The nurse told me that she had not had a patient go thru what mom did, her body responded to the struggle of not breathing in ways she had not seen before. I suppose it was her body doing what comes naturally to a lack of oxygen and she was not physically or mentally struggling. 41 days since her stroke. 66 is too d*mn young. She is with daddy again.