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Mom is very, very brittle diabetic with a plethora of other medical issues. The main one is the diabetes - she has been in ketoacidosis multiple times, in ICU due to that and forgetting to take her meds. She also swings very low - as low as 17. She needs 24 hour supervision. In AL as everyone knows she is fed at the same time everyday, receives all meds and monitored 24 hours a day. It is a beautiful facility, the staff is superb, but she wants to come home and be with the old man. He on the other hand likes his freedom, I have always coddled her because she has been neglected emotionally, she is willing to accept that the past 60 years. It is unfortunate- I am really pissed at the sibling 4 brothers 1 sister. My sister does go 2 to 3 times a week for a couple of hours and she did commit to help me with her showers (trying to save her some dignity). That has been working ok. Whenever mom has a doctor appt, or visit to ER, I am the one called (which I agreed to) but I do resent. She was not and would not get the care needed if I did not, my dad does not do caregiving. I sometimes think if I would have not pursued AL for her last August she would have already passed and it would not have really affected anyone. She was put in ICU the day after moving into AL due to her condition from being home and not properly cared for. AL does have her mostly regulated via diet, proper meds, etc. But her body still beats her up- internally she is shot. I was called at 3 am to take her to ER 2 weeks ago, her sugar would not come down. Got her hydrated and labs, etc. They sent her back to AL and I got a call the following morning around 4am that she needed to go back to ER - She can not come home. I am really feeling bad but know she is in the very best place. Just venting :(


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My dad has some similar issues. He is doing somewhat better because he's in AL, but would decline of he wasn't. With the aides doing his meds, insulin, and him eating healthy meals, he's okay.

It sounds like caring for her was too much for your father.

Can you assign some of the planned doctor visits to one of the other siblings? Would they be willing to take her if you asked?
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I found that bathing my Mom took a lot out lot me so was so glad someone else did it.

Keep Mom where she is. Tell her Dad cannot care for her and you can't be there 24/7. That her sugar is so much better with people checking it. That she has a better life there. If she can't understand that then try to change the subject or fib. When your doing better Mom.
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