It was over the stupidest thing. So, I guess the reverse honey moon stage is over. She has stopped doing her weekly pill dispenser and has started getting very negative towards me.
I have been not been feeling well, don't know what from-not Covid 19. So my saving grace is being able to come back home and try to shake off the ugly feelings of our visit today.
The negativity.
What is that word we like here so much? Ah, yes boundaries!
I just needed a good vent.
take care to all.
PS I chose depression because I am. Very.

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Snowfall, thank you for your input. It is something to think about. take care.

If your mom has been diagnosed with depression or another mental health disorder, just remember she is ill. I taught children with very high needs and I always had to advocate for the students who were physically healthy but had psychiatric disorders because people in the school environment would not make accommodations for them in the same way that they would for a child in a wheelchair. Try to make accommodations for her and remind yourself that she may not be able to control her behaviour in the same way that a child with Autism is unable to cope with certain situations. She may not be doing it on purpose as she may be unable to see it the way you do.

lilhelp, She has someone who will help her, but then she triangulates that friendship with me. It doesn't bother me like it used to. I used to not like this person, but she isn't bad but the more I get along with her the more my Mom talks smack about her. So sad.
Sad because she is probably back to doing that to me. Again, been there and done that.
Funny but now I know her MO so these 'problems' aren't new just how I look at them. Granted it still gets me occasionally but I know it's not me, it's her.
thank you and be safe

Sorry for what you went through.  That business with her being negative is enough to make you not feel well.  Her not being nice may be because she's ill, depressed, too.  Still, it hurts and ruins an otherwise nice day/visit. 

Sounds like she needs in home care and help (not always or only you!) based on the fact that she stopped doing her weekly pill dispenser.  Hope you can get some help for her Soon so you can get the breaks you need.

Take care.


Oh BarbBrooklyn, I can take my own advice. :) Two steps forward, one back.
But it really is the worst feeling imo, insideous.
thank you and hugs back.

RB, I'm sorry for your troubles. Off the top of my head, I only recall that you have a fraught relationship with you mom and I think she recently moved into her own place. I'm going to quote YOUR answer to someone else on this site (very good advice, it seemed to me at the time, and still does):

"Yes, classic gaslighting. The sickest trick in the book. She has the problem not you.
I hope you find some peace while dealing with this situation. Maybe you can't physically get away from her now, but you can draw some boundaries in your mind.
One of my issues when dealing with my Mom was to stop engaging with her.
Stay here with us. There are varying degrees of the same unhealthy relationships for most of us. Stay safe and hug"

Stay safe and hugs to you too, dear!

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