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Mom was sent to rehab/SNF by her doctor after a hospitalization. She refuses to eat or drink for days, then becomes delirious. This has triggered dementia and now behavior issues. She is not mobile but tries to get out of her bed/wheelchair. Curses at me when I visit because I correct her when she lies. She has visions. Sees people in the closet and in her bed. I do not want to bring her home, because there is no one else to care for her. She is 94 years old.

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Update.......
I hired a lawyer. It is the last of mom's savings. Honestly everything said on this forum is true. Even the lawyer said so, but it was implied that the facility is just gonna take their sweet time.e.g. Day 101. And then bombard me with threatening letters, Medicare will stop paying and the SNF will threaten as well, legally I am not responsible for mom's bills, after it got really really ugly and just maybe I found some money under a rock, then they would submit all the documents I provided in September and apply for Medicaid on mom's behalf................no way can I go through that , I have been care taking for many years, time for this to be setteled. By paying a lawyer, he will file the documents, and immediately call the facility on mom's behalf, he also told me that she can stay at that facility.....my request since it is close to where I live,mom has adjusted to the place and would freak out if moved! He said that once a lawyer gets involved word gets out in the facility=better treatment. It is a shame that mom paid taxes all her life and still pays $100 per month out of her se check for Medicare... this should be enough to take care of the elderly.......oh well, if anyone out there wants details (personal) send me your email and I will discuss off the boards.......if you are a caretaker, still working, no help from relatives, wishing there was a way to get your life and your health back...this forum helped me during the past 5 months
Ask for the very best outcome for everyone involved and be prepared! Thanks everyone for your advice and your input!
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I am so upset that I am shaking.. Mom was hospitalized in July 2017 the hospital billing dept. called me about a 20% co-pay I told them that mom has a Medicaid application pending and they should pay.......guess what? The nursing facility DID NOT SUBMIT mom's Medicaid application. So after 100 days guess what?
I know call a lawyer... I do not have POA mom has full blown dementia now she is incapable of signing any document.
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Social service, and a psych eval must both be requested. Then, tell them you cannot care for her. It is not an option...Furthermore, do not correct your Mom. She doesn't have the mental capabilities to understand. Just go along with her crazy. ( You say I'm married to a kitten? ...OK!). (You see men singing in the flowerbed? I just love it when they sing, "Sunshine on my shoulders!") What you're describing is around Stage 6 of the 7 Stages of Alzheimers. The last two things are: pacing the floor 20 hours/day and then, not swallowing or communicating, then passing away.
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They should admit your mom "Medicaid Pending" meaning that the NH will be paid back to the date of application when Medicaid is approved.

Do NOT sign anything that states that YOU will be responsible for payment to the NH is Medicaid is not approved. Either mom signs the paperwork or you sign it "Mary Jones in her capacity as POA to Jane Doe".
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Thanks everyone, I gave the SW a list in writing about 8 days ago, what concerns me is the Medicaid application which I submitted to the finance dept. Of the nursing facility. This included all required documentation plus ALL mom's checking account and savings account statements for the past 5 years. It is a small amount of money less than 50k and out of that mom purchased a irrevocable funeral trust(pre-plan). Does approval take more than 6 weeks when the applicant owns no property life ins. Stock etc? Should I email an ombudsman on mom's behalf?
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They gave you a list of places to look at, so they are also looking to move her. That is good. As jjariz says.. go look at them and pick the place you think is the best,, that is where they will try to move her. I work with SWs at my hospital,, you really DO want some imput!
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A Medicare short-term stay is typically 100 days max. It's good that you have applied for Medicaid and you should work with the social worker at the current SNF so that you have input where she will go next. They should be able to tell you which Medicaid qualified facilities have an open bed. And you are correct, you don't have to accept her back into your home if she will not be safe there.
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Stand your ground with social services - do not really engage except "she cannot live alone and there is no one to care for her" - they will have to find her a long term care bed. Your mom needs to be safe. They cannot discharge her into the street. They WILL try to make you feel guilty and obligated so they can move her out into your care. You know you cannot do it. Repeat, lather, rinse, repeat : "There is no one to take care of her"
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Just stand your ground with social services. It is THEIR job to find a place where your Mom is safe.

They will do everything they can to guilt you into taking her home...even imply Mom would be discharged to the street.

Do not fall for any of it.

They must transfer to a facility ... or keep her till they can.
Period
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Yes JoAnn, if the person is late I miss my trip I do not get paid, bad for my attendance file. I am leaving a stranger with mom for 4 days unsupervised..........all h*ll will. Break loose........ It happened before, she sent the lady home on day 2.
Facility called me today, said they will give me a list of facilities I need to pick because the y do not have a long term bed. What is the definition of a short term stay? She has been there 7 weeks.
I read on Medicare.gov that mom cannot be forced to move if she has applied for Medicaid, or if under appeal. Will they work harder to get her approved if she stays?
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The Social Worker should be helping you. If Mom can't stay at that facility maybe another one. You have a very good reason why Mom can't come home. They cost of having someone in your home on the days you r working is going to be a lot of money. I bet your work schedule varies. You need to be free to work.
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another person from social services called to discuss at home care, I told her that i cannot care for mom at home as I have for the past 5 years. For one thing I took a lot of time off (unpaid). I work for a(n) international airline, work takes me away from home 3 nights per week, the day's vary each week, I paid a lady out of pocket, whom I trusted and mom loved to stay with mom, recently, this lady had surgery, she cannot work anymore, my mom is no longer mobile, she will need care 24/7 when I am away, before she was hospitalized in July I hired 2 new caretakers, she did not like them and did not want them to be alone with her, I explained all of this to social services, her response was that mom has a short term bed and she does not know if a long term bed is available, when I submitted the Medicaid application I was told that mom could stay pending medicaid approval.
All of this is stated in the patients bill of rights
Lately mom has been asking me to pack her suitcase because she has to leave, she doesn't have money, the "nice"lady from downstairs visited her and told her so...........are they trying to intimidate mom?........I am pretty much venting here, I know my rights . She has applied for long term care thru Medicaid and they have to keep her during the process.
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Mom needs more care than you can provide. Facility will try to make you feel guilty for not bringing mom home. Do not fall for it. The social worker will find appropriate placement for mom.
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You do not have to sign her out. She is where she needs to be right now.

You are an awesome daughter; making these decisions for our parents is excruciatingly hard!
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Yes you can refuse to sign her out. You can say she is a vulnerable adult and she will have no one to care for her at home. She is an "unsafe discharge".
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Thank you Barb for your speedy reply, mom has been tested many times for a UTI. She is tested every Monday at the SNF. Her PCP is a geriatric physician. It was his decision, along with the social workers at the hospital not to send her home, he said that mom needed care 24/7. At this time I have submitted documentation for medicaid(5,years of bank statements). Mom has no property, just ss income, she pays rent her name is on the rent statement,and she has an irrevocable pre-need funeral expense trust. I don't know how long it takes to evaluate. I am just concerned, I took off a lot of time from work to care for her, I must make up that time so that I will have a decent retirement check in a few years. There are no other family members to care for her. Do you know if I can refuse to sign her out of the SNF?
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Has she been tested for a Urinary Tract infection? These often cause behavioral symptoms in the elderly.

Have you had her seen by the geriatric psychiatrist at the nursing home?

You don't correct a dementia patient, because they aren't " lies", they are delusions.

Read everything you can about dementia on here. Watch videos by Teepa Snow.
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