Turns out she wants her pillows and sheets fixed so she can get back into bed. I told her it's unacceptable to act this way I am being treated like her lackey. Let me know how I can get her to fix her own pillow etc. In a nursing home is the staff going to run to assist with this kind off demand at 10 pm?

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I haven't been able to find a way to get them to stop. Many parents do think it is their kids duty to assist them on demand. Yes, it gets nerve-wracking. I think mine invents things at times in order to get me to do things for her. She'll say a pen won't write, but it will be working just fine. She'll say one of her meters is not working, but there will be no trouble with it at all. I think it is just to keep us on our toes.

I doubt that a home will respond to her calls so quickly. Since they aren't family I suspect that she won't even buzz or call them for help if she has to go into a home.

Maybe, if Mom pushed her call button and waited patiently for an aide, they would indeed adjust her pillow and sheet. In fact, they might instruct her to call for help rather than doing it herself, if they thought she might lose her balance. Old people often do need assistance with things we think they should be able to do. And, of course, nursing homes are staffed with three shifts of people, and 10 pm is no big deal to them.

And sometimes old people just get scared, lonely, or panicked, and asking for help with something is a way to see someone and calm down.

But it is not acceptable for Mom to treat you like her lackey, to demand services of you, and to not show appreciation. The conversation (not screamed) should go something like this:
Mom: Could you please help me straighten out the bedding?
You: Sure. Tell you what. I'll straighten out the pillow, you get in, and I'll tuck you in, the way you tucked me in so many years.
Mom: You are so good to me. I'm glad to live here!

I think I'd work harder at teaching Mom her part of this script than getting her to do this kind of thing by herself.

I'm not really sure what you are asking?

Has your mom's behavior suddenly become different?

A sudden change in mental status should be reported to her doctor.

Something to keep in mind is that UTIs can cause bizzare behavior in seniors.

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