This morning I posted about the roller coaster my family was on with elderly Mom with dementia suffering septic shock and kidney failure. Sent to nursing home to die. Had been 18 days without food and 5 days without water and continued to linger.
One person responded that Mom possibly had subconscious "unfinished business" that kept her lingering. I made a very short selfie video with my dog and said, "Hi Mom, We love you" and sent via text message to my sister. I had not been able to talk with Mom or visit for two years.
Early evening my sister sent me a pic of Mom dressed and down in dining room at nursing home. Mom ate ice cream and custard (hadn't been swallowing for a month). My sister had a precious hour with Mom lucid and very alert. She didn't speak but seemed to understand. My sister played my short video for her a couple of times. My sister said her face lit up and was pretty sure she recognized my voice saying "We love you." Many of the patients came up and told Mom how nice it was to see her up.
My sister went home. Thirty minutes later she got the call. Mom had passed. After her time in the dining room, they put her to bed at the nursing home and just 5 minutes later her heart just stopped beating.
We are very sad but relieved.
I read several articles last week about "Terminal Lucidity" or "last hurrah". Wondered if Mom would come out of her stupor before death but was doubtful. I was a bit surprised when my sister said Mom was very alert and lucid. But I also had a premonition that this might be the end. I was concerned that the nursing home had gotten my sister all excited and thinking Mom was going to recover. In my heart, I just felt that this was Mom's Last Hurrah. Maybe she was waiting to hear from me. Maybe she just wanted to see her friends at the nursing home for the last time. As I anticipated, my sister is crushed. She was so excited seeing Mom lucid and eating Ice Cream. I then explained to her about Terminal Lucidity/Last Hurrah. I told her to treasure that precious hour she had with Mom today and let that memory be a comfort. She received a special gift that few experience before a loved one's death.
She passed very quickly and peacefully. I am very comforted that I had a chance to tell her I loved her in my short selfie video.