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This morning I posted about the roller coaster my family was on with elderly Mom with dementia suffering septic shock and kidney failure. Sent to nursing home to die. Had been 18 days without food and 5 days without water and continued to linger.


One person responded that Mom possibly had subconscious "unfinished business" that kept her lingering. I made a very short selfie video with my dog and said, "Hi Mom, We love you" and sent via text message to my sister. I had not been able to talk with Mom or visit for two years.


Early evening my sister sent me a pic of Mom dressed and down in dining room at nursing home. Mom ate ice cream and custard (hadn't been swallowing for a month). My sister had a precious hour with Mom lucid and very alert. She didn't speak but seemed to understand. My sister played my short video for her a couple of times. My sister said her face lit up and was pretty sure she recognized my voice saying "We love you." Many of the patients came up and told Mom how nice it was to see her up.


My sister went home. Thirty minutes later she got the call. Mom had passed. After her time in the dining room, they put her to bed at the nursing home and just 5 minutes later her heart just stopped beating.


We are very sad but relieved.


I read several articles last week about "Terminal Lucidity" or "last hurrah". Wondered if Mom would come out of her stupor before death but was doubtful. I was a bit surprised when my sister said Mom was very alert and lucid. But I also had a premonition that this might be the end. I was concerned that the nursing home had gotten my sister all excited and thinking Mom was going to recover. In my heart, I just felt that this was Mom's Last Hurrah. Maybe she was waiting to hear from me. Maybe she just wanted to see her friends at the nursing home for the last time. As I anticipated, my sister is crushed. She was so excited seeing Mom lucid and eating Ice Cream. I then explained to her about Terminal Lucidity/Last Hurrah. I told her to treasure that precious hour she had with Mom today and let that memory be a comfort. She received a special gift that few experience before a loved one's death.


She passed very quickly and peacefully. I am very comforted that I had a chance to tell her I loved her in my short selfie video.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your Mother. My all of you be at peace
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My condolences and prayers for you and your sister. So very sorry for your loss.
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I am sorry for your loss. Death of a loved one is a sad. relieving, comforting. exhausting, guilt inducing, peaceful, feeling like you've been punched in the gut, roller coaster ride. The emotional turmoil you go through heals with time. The one thing I know for sure is that Love Never Dies. I can still feel the love of those in my family that have passed. May God be with you and your family
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I’m glad you had a good experience. We all die, it’s great she went so peacefully.
Not for you as much as for others. When my stepfather was close to death, the palliative care staff gave us a wonderful pamphlet on the dying process. It can literally take years but once on that path you don’t get better. You might have better days or hours but it’s on a set course. It was such a good resource because I could see my stepfather had been going through those steps for about 2 years, my mother is on that course now. Imo it’s good to prepare yourself emotionally and understand the process that’s happening. If you have a palliative care team or hospice, please see if they have similar materials you can look at.
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Oh, I am so sorry for your loss! You are quite accurate in describing "Terminal Lucidity," aka the Last Hurrah. I've heard of this happening more than once. The patient will get the last "sudden burst of energy" as a way of saying goodbye for the final time. Many condolences. So if the loved one of the patient is not aware of the "rally," they will be deceived into thinking their loved one is making a full recovery to well health.
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Thank you.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are right about the terminal lucidity. As a hospice volunteer I have seen it happen on many occasions. The rally is so deceiving. It does bring false hope to those who witness it. I'm so happy that you sent that video to your mom and that your sister was able to share it with her.
I'm praying that your sister takes your words to heart and cherishes the time she got to spend with your mom in her final hours.
Prayers and positive energy going out to you and your family.
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So sorry for your loss. The info you gave was very interesting, though. We are going through something we do not understand, so maybe it is similar. Example: yesterday saw mom at nursing home. She was so up, also that way the day before yesterday. We had not seen her that animated in months. She is 100 and bedridden. Tuesday brother could not get her to stay awake. Then today, I could not get her to stay awake. We were thinking maybe nursing home is giving her sleeping meds.....they say no. You are right...I get so excited thinking she is better. Probably not
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Wow, what a great story, sounds like your mother went out happy and that's all we can wish for. Sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing.
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I am so sorry for your great loss, NotEasy94. My condolences.

How wonderful that your mother could have that one "last hurrah" and your sister being with her. What a priceless memory.

My mom, too, had her last hurrah. She was mostly bed-bound, but one afternoon when both sisters came to visit, all four of us had a rousing game of rummy and Mom was lucid and laughing. I wondered if this was her last hurrah. I put her to bed that Thursday evening. She never woke up and passed Sunday morning.
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Your instincts were on point and the vid must have cheered a soul preparing to depart. Thanks for posting and condolences to you and yours.
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I’m very sorry for your loss. It sounds like it is a comfort to you that she is at peace now. My dad also had a lucid day just before his passing. I know it helped Mom through the days that followed. I hope it helps you and your sister as well that she was able to say goodbye
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I'm sorry about your mom.

My mom had the same death rally on her birthday when she was eating, talking, and alerting. Then, she died about a week later. We all didn’t see it coming. Although, we were wondering why her eyes were so widely opened when she saw us on her birthday, and I thought it was so weird. I am so happy that I kept telling her that I love her every single day. I did not know that was her death rally until I read about it about months later.

I was prepared with my dad, but he didn’t have it. His death was very quick after he found out that he had lungs cancer two days before he died.
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I’m sorry for your loss. A similar thing happened with my mom. One day, about a week before her final hospital admission to the surgical ER, Mom, who really couldn’t do much anymore, surprised my sister by telling her all the things she felt like doing that day - visiting her aunt, shopping, going out to eat. My sister asked “Why do you want to do all that today? Are you in some kind of hurry?” My mom replied “I don’t know, I just feel like doing all those things.”
I’ve also heard stories of people rallying just before death. I never knew it had a name.
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I experienced a similar phenomenon with my dad. He had been living with me and also suffering with dementia for many years. He was admitted to the hospital with what turned out to be an aspiration pneumonia and became very sick and very agitated. On the last day of his life I was with him when his doctor came into his hospital room. His doctor said to me, "Look at how much better he is today"! He was correct that my dad was calmer and more lucid than I had remembered him for a long time. While his doctor read his behavior as a sign of improvement, I wondered if he was getting ready to die. I did have some very peaceful and valuable moments with him that evening which I am grateful for now. He died a few hours later.
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Our thoughts and prayers are w you, sister & family🙏🏻..Mom was Blessed to have one last earthly celebration..You & your sister were the Blessings that helped orchestrate such a gift.❤️Hugs.. cinzim281 & family
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What a great idea you had in sending the video, I’m sure it made your mom feel loved and cherished. Very sorry for your loss, I hope good memories will surround you in the days ahead
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We often want to hold out hope like your sister did. The blessing is she got to see her lucid. I’m glad you got to tell her good bye. So many do not get that chance... it sounded like a peaceful death and that is the best we can hope for. That part of your caregiving journey is behind you and now you deal with the grief journey. My condolences as you grieve her absence.
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I am So terribly Sorry for Mom's Passing...However, In the End, My Friend, Yes....They go through this "Death Stage of the Fifth Stage," Which is a Closure tha tis so Amazing it is Hard to Fathom. I have seen it and with even my own Mom before she passed from Lung Cancer.
God Gives them a Chance to Say God-bye, You to Cry and to Enjoy Them for the Last Time...
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So sorry for your loss, and I am happy for her that she had that last Lucid, Peaceful moment in the dining room where she was happy. Unfortunately my father never got that moment...She was ready to go, so God Bless Her...It was great that you had a chance to make that video for her and that she was able to see it, and know who you were...and she had ice cream and custard to boot!
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So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
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Sorry for your loss. I think that last hour your mother had with her daughter present and getting your message was a gift for all of you. I am glad you see it as such, and hope that carries you through this difficult time.
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I'm sorry for your loss. I think end of life rallies are a gift, a way to help us remember the person as they once were before sickness overtook them. My mom wasn't so obviously in the final stage of life as yours but she also had a rally near the end of her life - I too found it inexplicable that the nursing home staff didn't give even a glimmer of a hint that they suspected it was a terminal rally, in fact they all acted surprised when she transitioned to actively dying a couple of days later. After doing a lot of reading on the forum and elsewhere I also believe that they can choose when to leave, and your mom chose to spare your sister those final moments, her final gift.
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((((((hugs)))))))).
I'm so sorry for your loss. But happy that your mom's long ordeal is over.
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Your post brought tears to my eyes. My mom's last week of life I spent practically every waking moment by her bedside hoping for a last hurrah. Sadly it never came. Her last day I spent four hours with her and for whatever reason left early. She took her last breath four hours later. I had wanted to be there thinking she might regain consciousness just before cause I had read that happens sometimes too. I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Your sister was blessed to have those last lucid moments with your mom.
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I am sorry for your loss, but at least your sister got to spend some time with her and you got to tell her that you loved her. It really is a beautiful gift that you both got. Now, your mom can rest in peace. Thank you for sharing!

God bless you. Hugs!
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Not Easy, what a precious last hour your sis got to spend with her. And great idea to send the video and wonderful that mom enjoyed it.

I am so sorry for your loss.
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