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Could you tell us a little more about your situation, mylife? Many of our parents are not appreciative of what we do. Many of them will downplay the importance of contributions, perhaps to help preserve their own self esteem. If they were to admit how much help that they need, it would mean that they were slipping. So they insist that they could make it without any help and may actually resent the help that is given... while at the same time asking for more. I think in order to remain sane in such an environment, a caregiver has to have a strong sense of self. The self esteem of a caregiver can certainly take a battering.

If you have nowhere else to go, staying where you are sounds like a good idea. I hope that you and your mother can become appreciative of each other. It sounds like each of you have assets the other needs, so it is mutual caregiving. That is okay.

Please let us know a little about your mother and you and someone may have some good ideas on how to make it work.

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