My has had dementia for a little while. She's 79. She moved at assisted living about 5 years ago. Just recently, her peripheral neuropathy has caused her a lot of pain and she has sacroilitis. Due to the pain, her strength has decreased. She was staying with me until we could get her into a pain mgmt dr who diagnosed the sacroilitis. She was started on Lyrica a month ago and it's helped. She had some mild confusion here at my house but now that she's in the nursing home, she's very angry at is and wants to go home. I don't blame her. This is to be temporary until they give her the cortisone shot and she gets stronger.
I feel so guilty. We had a BD party yesterday and She came but didn't want to leave.
I'm scheduled to go to Ireland June 4 and her shot is scheduled for June 5. I'm wondering if I should wait. I'm the oldest and have two sisters who are great and supportive. It just keeps ringing I my ears from years ago, you're going to put me in s home and not come back.
I love her so much. The dr said she had mixed dementia.

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I loveoliver , would you expect your children to keep you in their home until you die, with all the attendant eldercare hassles? I don't know why parents pull this on their kids....Don't ever put me in a nursing home......I suppose folks in their eighties remember some horrible places from long ago, and to be sure, you still have to choose a facility carefully, but with few exceptions most people are not up to the task of the intensive care needs of the elderly in their homes. Maybe you and your sisters are the exception to the rule.

This is a vacation I have planned for about six months. I'll be home June 15. Actually she's doing better. She called me last night. She had physical therapy yesterday and did real well. It think it was a combination of UTI and Norco she was taking for the peripheral neuropathy and the sacroilitis. I told her I love her and she said I'd love you more if I could go home.

If this is temporary until she gets stronger, then it sounds like a Transition Care Unit, not a nursing home (even it is housed in a nursing home). Is that the case?

Are you moving to Ireland, or is this a visit? How long will you be gone? Here is the thing -- dementia gets worse. It is what it does, by definition. So there may be no time in the future what would be better than now. If you are thinking of moving, maybe putting it off a bit until Mom's situation stabilizes and everyone knows where she will be if/when she regains some strength. But if this is a visit, going off while she is being taken care of in a care center might be good timing. You can come back in time to help with the next step.

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