if I go away where she goes with me but she telling my brother and sisters that I do I don't tell everything I do or talk about, She tell them I leaving she out. Getting to the point of just putting her somewhere so I don't have to heard how bad I am.

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Sadly, the care giver ends up being the 'bad guy' often. Others - including other children - can practically ignore the person but the care giver is the one who lies, steals, ignores, etc.

I had a long talk with our doctor (he is my Mother in Law's doctor as well) and he said that the more independence the person loses due to health issues and such - the more angry they become and can actually become Jealous of the life the care giver still has. The care giver represents everything they have lost.

Our doctor said that I still have my mobility, home, husband, children who visit often, etc. These are all the things she no longer has - so I represent all of her losses and she acts out. Often it is 'indirect' - snide remarks, gossip (mostly fabricated stories that never happened - but that others not directly involved would NOT KNOW were made up) and sometimes they are angry outbursts.

It has taken time, but I am learning to ignore it. It does hurt though. IF I had a choice - and could go back to 'go' - I would never become a care giver. It is very stressful - like walking on eggshells.

I hope things improve. You will rarely if ever get a thank you from ANYONE - especially your mother. :0(

What are your mom's impairments/diagnoses? Have you talked to her doctor about these behaviors?

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